


Watered Down, Not Diluted

by Lu C (lu_campbell)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Friends to Lovers, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Marine Biology, Non-Canon Age Difference, POV Alternating, References to Homophobia, Science Experiments, a few other characters may show up but they aren't featured prominently, age-appropriate alcohol and drug use, but it's really not that angsty - there's a happy ending dw, non-graphic depictions of animal injuries/death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-08
Updated: 2021-02-05
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:34:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 30,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28626564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lu_campbell/pseuds/Lu%20C
Summary: Feeling directionless, Ukai Keishin accepts an offer from his grandfather to help out at his marine animal research and rescue center, Karasuno. Once there, he slowly gets to know his colleagues as well as a group of student researchers from a nearby university, led by macrobiology professor Takeda Ittetsu. Turns out they all have a lot more than algae colonies to learn about. Oh, and there’s a turtle, too. But we’ll get to that.(While this story does center on Ukai and his journey, it also heavily features other characters and their POVs!)
Relationships: Sawamura Daichi/Sugawara Koushi, Shimizu Kiyoko/Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Takeda Ittetsu/Ukai Keishin, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi
Comments: 30
Kudos: 40





	1. May 8th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The inspiration for this fic originally came from some fanart of Ukai as a marine biologist with a baby turtle by @bokutokay on insta/tiktok!

The place was smaller than Ukai remembered, most likely since he hadn’t visited since he himself was small. Karasuno Wildlife Research and Rescue Center had practically seemed like an aquarium to him as a child, now he could see that it was really just two small buildings connected by a covered walkway, one housing the research facilities and one with tanks for the sea creatures who called the center home.

The research building was mostly used by head researcher Tanaka Saeko, but according to her at least once a week undergraduates research assistants from the nearby university came to collect samples and run experiments. This information was given to him at breakneck speed as Saeko led him through the research building and towards the animals themselves.

“You probably won’t spend that much time in that building,” she said as she beckoned Ukai towards the “rescue” part of Karasuno. “Now this, this is where the good stuff happens.”

‘The good stuff’ was four rooms of tanks, one pool, and one room lined with industrial-sized freezers with a stainless steel counter in the middle. 

“This is where you’ll prepare the food every day,” Saeko said, gesturing at the counter which Ukai could now see was used to cutting fish on. “My research assistant can take you through the specifics of that, but it’s not that hard. For now I want to introduce you to everyone here, so follow me!”

“Right,” Ukai said, “and by everyone, you mean-” 

“The patients! Come on, this way,” Saeko led Ukai to the room with the pool, where a large dolphin and a small dolphin were swimming around. “This is our mother and daughter duo. We brought the mother in while she was still pregnant and very underweight, but now that both of them are doing better we’ll be releasing them within the month.”

“Cool,” Ukai knelt by the side of the pool to get a better look, “and they’ll be just fine going back to the wild? Even the baby?”

“Absolutely,” Saeko nodded, “oh but I would be careful-” before she could finish her sentence the full-grown dolphin flipped her tail and sent a wall of water washing over Ukai. He stood up, spluttering and wiping salt water out of his eyes. “Yeah, she’s a bit of a prankster,” Saeko laughed.

“Got it,” Ukai said, wiping wet hair away from his forehead. He decided the dolphins, though very beautiful, were probably not going to be his favorites. “Who’s next?”

Ukai followed Saeko into the next room where long glass tanks lined both walls, in one colorful fish swam lazily back and forth, but the other tank seemed strangely empty.

“We have two octopuses who live here full time,” she explained, indicating what Ukai had originally taken for rocks in one tank. “My research assistant, Sugawara Koushi, does a lot of work with them. You’ll meet him later, but most likely he will take point on feeding them so you won’t have to interact much.”

“They’re small,” Ukai said, bending to take a closer look. One octopus uncurled itself from the bottom of the tank, it’s colors shifting from grey to a mottled white.

“Yeah, but don’t let that fool you,” Saeko grinned, “these two are more clever than any of the other animals here, except the dolphins of course. If you ever are in charge of caring for them make sure everything is closed up tight, or else they will literally escape and go eat the smaller fish.”

“Yikes,” Ukai took a closer look at the octopus, who was now closer to green and seemed to be sorting through rocks on the bottom of its tank. After the octopuses Saeko took Ukai through a room with a large shallow tank which housed four stingrays, one of which let Ukai run a finger along its smooth back. The last room Ukai was led into had three medium-sized tanks, all of which were maybe a meter and a half-deep with steps leading up to the edge.

“Here’s where we treat our sea turtles,” Saeko said. “Only two of the three tanks are occupied right now, and this guy here should be released within a week or so.” She indicated the tank closest to the door. Ukai peered inside to find a large sea turtle swimming slowly across the bottom of the tank. One flipper was badly scarred, with new tissue showing pink through the wide cuts.

“What happened to him?” Ukai asked.

“Probably a fishing line,” Saeko said, “people just leave them out there and the turtles get tangled up. This guy will be just fine, he’s been in recovery here for about three weeks.”

“What about the other one? You said there were two,” Ukai made his way over to the other occupied tank, this one nearest to the back wall.

“She’s only been here for a week,” Saeko said, joining him by the tank. “We found her tangled in a net. She was weak from laying eggs, and she probably just didn’t have the strength to get out of the way.”

Ukai looked down at the sea turtle, a little smaller than the male, and had to physically stop himself from recoiling. Her shell was slashed in two places, deep cuts that marred the otherwise beautiful pattern on her back. Like the other turtle, her flippers were deeply scarred, but these cuts didn’t look as healed as the male’s did.

“Is she in pain?” Ukai asked, his voice a whisper.

Saeko nodded. “Most likely. She’s on antibiotics and some steroids to help her recovery but pain management with turtles is tricky. She’s on an anti-inflammatory, and as long as she’s eating and moving around a little I assume she’s tolerating the pain.”

Ukai nodded. He couldn’t imagine the turtle’s injuries knitting themselves back together, or her ever being strong enough to make her way back through the ocean’s waves. As he watched, her back flippers stirred the water slightly.

“She might not be here long,” Saeko sounded regretful, “but she’s a fighter, so I’m hoping for the best.” There was a warning in her voice which Ukai couldn’t account for.

“Right, I mean she’s in pretty bad shape. So it makes sense she might not make it.”

“Yeah. It’s just sometimes when people aren’t used to this work they can get a little attached.”

Ah, so that’s what the warning was. “Don’t worry, I’m not all that sentimental.”

“Good,” Saeko gestured towards the door. “Here’s my research assistant now, he’s going to take you through prepping the food today and then you’ll be doing that moving forward.”

“Got it.” Ukai turned to find a young man leaning against the doorframe. He was a little shorter than Ukai, with hair so blonde it was practically silver. 

The young man offered a hand to shake, his face breaking into an easy smile. “Sugawara Koushi, but you can just call me Suga.”

“Ukai Keishin.” They shook hands, and he was surprised to find that Suga’s grip was firm and his hands calloused despite his rather delicate features.

“Nice to meet you, Ukai-san. Now if you’ll follow me,” he turned and walked back towards the room with freezers and Ukai followed. “I hope you’re not bothered by raw fish.”

Ukai was about to answer that he wasn’t when Saeko interjected from somewhere behind him: “Once you two are finished for the day come meet me at the bar, we’ll drink to your first day.”

“Uh, thanks,” Ukai said, and Suga waved an affirmative over one shoulder. The door swung shut behind them.

* * *

It was only a month into the semester and Takeda Ittetsu already felt wrung out by his University. It wasn’t his students, he liked his students. No; it was a lecturer’s insane workload for the fifth year in a row combined with inadequate funding, only one grad student to help, and not even a whisper of tenure on the horizon. He thought it might actually kill him. 

The first round of tests for his class were stacked on his desk. They had been graded by Yamaguchi Tadashi, his teaching assistant, but they still needed to be approved and put into the online grading system. The class was mostly first and second year students, so the test had really been a way to measure how much the syllabus would have to be adjusted so no one fell behind. Takeda had thought that the test had been pretty straightforward, a way to ease students into macrobiology, but apparently he had overestimated his students’ abilities. He would have to dramatically restructure the rest of syllabus, and potentially the final project would have to be modified in order to fit in the review which was clearly necessary. Just thinking about it made Takeda put his head down on his desk and groan.

He was contemplating the grain of his desk and whether or not it was too late to switch to a less stressful career path, perhaps cowherding, when his office phone rang. He picked it up.

“Hello, Takeda Ittetsu here.”

“Sensei!” the voice of Tanaka Saeko crackled through the receiver. “You sound depressed.”

“No no,” Takeda lied, “just a little tired. What’s going on? How are things at Karasuno?”

“Things are good,” Saeko said. “Things are excellent. Hey, you work too hard.”

Takeda eyed the stack of tests in front of him, “do I?”

“You do! You absolutely do. You should take a break and come have drinks with me and the guys tonight.”

“The guys? You mean the other researchers?” Takeda sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Listen Saeko - I know they’re good people but they just complain about their kids and wives, which I never have anything to add to. And then inevitably they will turn to me and ask when I’m getting married, and I don’t know how to delicately say that unless gay marriage has been legalized in Japan without my knowledge they shouldn’t hold their breath.”

“You know you’re funny when you’re bitter,” Saeko said.

“I’m going to choose to take that as a compliment.”

“Ha! You should,” Saeko said. “But not those guys. I have a new fish guy and Suga and I are taking him out for his first day. It’s the old man’s grandson, and he doesn’t know anyone here yet. You should come say hi, especially considering how much time you and those kids spend at the center.”

Takeda glanced at the clock before answering. “Okay, just to be polite. I can’t stay though.”

“Sure, sure. Hey, Suga will be pleased! He’s a big fan of yours, you know.”

“I didn’t know university lecturers could have fans,” Takeda mused. “But that’s nice of him. He’s a good kid.”

“That he is. Well, we’ll be at the usual spot around 6:00, so meet us there okay!”

“Sure sounds good,” Takeda said. A knock sounded on his door. “I have a student here, so I have to go.”

“Go get em’ sensei!” Saeko called. Takeda rolled his eyes fondly and hung up the phone.

“Come in!” he called. The door opened and the student walked in. Takeda smiled in greeting and gestured to the seat by his desk. “Please, sit down!”

“Thank you,” the student folded himself into the chair. “I’m Tsukishima Kei.”

“Nice to meet you,” Takeda said. “I’m Takeda Ittetsu, thanks for coming to meet with me today.”

“Thank you for offering me a place on your research team,” Tsukishima said. His posture was stiff, and Takeda thought he looked a little nervous.

“I was very impressed with your application,” Takeda said warmly. “I don’t usually accept third years, but I decided to make an exception. However, because of this you might not have the lab experience of the others. Am I right in that assumption?”

Tsukishima fidgeted in his seat, his mouth a thin line. “You are.”

“Okay, well that’s not a problem. I’m going to take you through the programs we use to share and analyze data, and then my teaching assistant will show you where everything is and go through how to format lab reports.”

“I didn’t realize the research program was TA-ed,” Tsukishima said.

“It’s not,” Takeda replied quickly. “He’s a TA for my intro class and a research assistant just like you. But since I’m also the adviser for his dissertation he knows exactly what I expect in the lab, so he’ll be a good resource for you.”

“Oh okay,” Tsukishima’s brow furrowed slightly.

“Is something wrong?” Takeda asked.

“No. No, it’s just-” Tsukishima adjusted his glasses slightly, “you said he would show me how to format a lab report, but I included previous reports I had done in my application. Was there something wrong with them?”

“Not particularly,” Takeda said. “But when you work in a research team everything needs to match up, and I like things done a specific way to make sure we’re all communicating.”

“Okay,” Tsukishima nodded. 

Takeda turned his computer monitor towards Tsukishima and loaded the data processing software.

“Let’s begin with this program,” Takeda said. Tsukishima nodded and focused on the monitor, his face the picture of concentration.

For the majority of the next half hour Takeda clicked through the various programs they used, explained the various experiments they ran, and listed what exactly would have to be gathered every week from Karasuno. 

At 5:25 he was just finishing up. “So even though research assistants are expected to be doing work on the algae project, it’s also about you learning and developing lab skills in order to prepare for a graduate level of study,” Takeda explained. “You should feel free to ask your own questions and even pursue your own hypotheses. I try to foster an environment of collaboration and curiosity, so if you ever want to delve deeper or think there’s another perspective we should be considering I want you to speak up.”

Tsukishima nodded. He had begun taking notes on a yellow pad, and he recorded a few more characters before his hand stilled.

“Great, well for now that’s probably-” Takeda was interrupted by a knock on his door and smiled and called out: “come in!”

Yamaguchi Tadashi stepped into the office, smiling sheepishly. “Sorry Sensei, am I too early?”

“Not at all, I was just saying I had gotten through everything I wanted to today. Tsukishima, do you have any questions for me before your tour?”

Tsukishima glanced at Yamaguchi and then quickly to the floor. “Not right now. Thank you, Sensei.”

“Of course, of course,” Takeda waved him off. “Welcome to the team.”

Tsukishima stood up and offered Takeda a stunted bow of thanks before turning towards Yamaguchi. Despite his considerable height advantage, the undergraduate’s movements were stiff, and Takeda was again struck by the thought that he seemed nervous.

Yamaguchi blinked up at Tsukishima for a moment before offering the undergraduate a wide smile, “nice to meet you!” he said. “I’m Yamaguchi Tadashi and I’ll be one of your fellow research assistants. Tsukishima Kei, right?”

Tsukishima raised his eyebrows, “uh, yeah.”

“Great! Now if you’ll just follow me,” he beckoned Tsukishima out of the office, throwing Takeda a wave as they left. As the two receded towards the labs Takeda could hear Yamaguchi chatting away, punctuated every so often with a word from Tsukishima.

* * *

Yamaguchi Tadashi had shoulder-length brown hair which he wore tied in a low ponytail. He had freckles all over his face, but they were concentrated over his nose and cheeks. The corners of his eyes crinkled when he smiled, and he never really seemed to stop smiling. In short, Yamaguchi Tadashi was engineered specifically to ruin Tsukishima’s life. In his defense, Yamaguchi probably had no idea that he was ruining Tsukishima’s life. He probably thought he was just sitting across a table and leafing through a printout of one of Tsukishima’s old lab reports, but this ignorance didn’t make him any less guilty. 

Despite the life-ruining quality of Yamaguchi’s smile, Tsukishima had found the tour relatively manageable. He had taken in less than half of what Yamaguchi told him, but he had really just been expected to walk behind the grad student while he pointed out which labs housed which types of experiments and told him the code for the supply closet. That one he had written down, because he was guessing “sorry I was distracted by a really cute guy so I don’t know the code” probably wouldn’t be considered a valid excuse. The tour had been fine. Going over his lab reports which was the problem, because Tsukishima was expected to respond to questions intelligently and take in information, and his capacity for doing so had been dramatically compromised. 

Yamaguchi was leafing through a lab report Tsukishima had written the semester before, and any moment now he would look up and ask a question or give some sort of direction and Tsukishima was going to have to respond in kind. He took a deep breath in through his nose and laced his fingers together loosely on top of the table.

“Okay,” Yamaguchi started, “okay I see what Sensei means here. It’s a good report, it's just not useful in a research setting.”

The slight ding to his pride helped Tsukishima recover his voice, “not useful how?”

“Well I can’t really see your train of thought. You give me all the steps and results, and even how you altered the steps to get a more accurate result, but your thinking isn’t recorded anywhere.”

“I don’t understand, I included everything I did.”

“You did,” Yamaguchi nodded in agreement before leaning across the desk and turning the report towards Tsukishima. “But see this section? It only explains the different steps you took and how that corrected an issue in the original experiment design. Then you go straight to results. How did you figure out that these steps would work? Did you try anything else before you settled on this protocol?”

Tsukishima blinked at Yamaguchi, “are these hypothetical questions?”

“No. Well, I mean, sort of,” he put Tsukishima’s report down and turned to rifle through his bag. “I have an example here which might make more sense. Sorry I’m not really being clear. I just mean that I don’t need to know why you changed this specific experimental design, but for future reports you should really include… found it!” Yamaguchi pulled a few stapled pages from his bag and put them on the table.

“I should read this?” Tsukishima asked. When Yamaguchi nodded he picked up the packet and began scanning the first page. After two paragraphs he looked up, an eyebrow raised. “This is basically a stream of consciousness. I thought it was supposed to be a lab report, not a diary.”

Yamaguchi gave a tight smile, “thank you for the feedback. But what I was trying to model was how you should include the way you think through all the steps you take, especially in a research context. It’s really helpful for both your team members and you to-”

“Wait,” Tsukishima interrupted. His brain had finally caught up with what Yamaguchi had said. “Wait, you wrote this?”

“Yes.”

Tsukishima felt cold all over. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s fine,” Yamaguchi laughed. “It’s not like you’re wrong. I take notes like this for my dissertation so when I go back over them I know what I was thinking. It also helps Sensei give feedback because it’s easier to pinpoint any blind spots.”

“Yeah, that makes sense,” Tsukishima choked out. Guilt sat in his stomach like a rock. “I’m really sorry, sometimes I just talk. I really didn’t mean it-” 

“You absolutely meant it,” Yamaguchi interrupted, his face splitting into another blinding smile, “But it’s really okay. I actually thought it was pretty funny.”

Tsukishima could feel his face heating up and hoped it wasn’t visible. God, he could be such a dick sometimes. And here he had gone and insulted the cute research assistant right to his face! Surely, Tsukishima thought to himself, surely no one had ever managed to fuck up their chances with someone as quickly and efficiently as he just had. It had to be some sort of record.

“Sorry,” he whispered miserably.

“It’s okay!” Yamaguchi actually grabbed his arm and shook slightly. Well, that was incapacitating for a whole different reason. “I promise I don’t mind. Please stop apologizing.”

“Okay.” There was no world in which Tsukishima’s face wasn’t red at this point. 

Yamaguchi, somehow, was still smiling. “The main point I was trying to get at is that you should include your thought process because when you work in a research team it’s really useful and saves time. It can also be helpful to have when you go back to reread so you can be right back in the mindset you had when you did the research the first time.”

“That makes sense,” Tsukishima said. He couldn’t quite meet Yamaguchi’s eyes. Even though he had said it was alright, and was smiling again… he still couldn’t shake the feeling that he had already managed to fuck everything up. Not that there was a lot to fuck up at this point, but still… 

Yamaguchi was talking again, and Tsukishima mentally shook himself out of the grip of his own guilt to listen. “I think that’s really all the feedback I had, so you should be set. I’m sure Sensei already explained this to you, but we do visits to the Karasuno Research Center on Tuesdays and work in the lab that evening and then Thursday and Friday afternoons. Do you have any classes which conflict with those times?”

“No, I already fixed my schedule to work with the research group.”

“Excellent,” Yamaguchi stacked the papers on the table together. “Oh, before I leave can I have your number?”

“Huh?” Tsukishima could not have heard that right.

“Your number. For the research assistant group chat. It wasn’t on your resume, and we usually just coordinate via text since it’s quicker than email.”

“Oh right, sure thing.” Tsukishima took the offered phone and typed in his number, mentally chastising himself. 

“Thanks!” Yamaguchi took the phone back and slipped it and the papers back into his bag. “Now usually I’d stay to chat more, but I have to go write in my diary about stingray biology.” 

Tsukishima’s mouth dropped open, and he looked up in time to see Yamaguchi flash another heartstopping smile.

“Uh-” Tsukishima managed, but Yamaguchi just laughed and stood up from the table.

“See you tomorrow Tsukishima,” he offered a wave before walking towards the exit. 

Tsukishima watched him leave before dropping his forehead to the table in front of him. 

“Fuck,” he mumbled into the wood. 

* * *

Takeda got to the bar ten minutes late, but still managed to be the first one there. He settled at Saeko’s favorite table in the back corner with a beer to wait for the others. About a third of the way through the bottle he spotted the familiar figure of Saeko followed by Suga and another man who Takeda assumed was her new employee. Suga spotted him quickly and the three made their way over to the table, Saeko slid into the seat next to Takeda and the two other men sat opposite.

“Sensei! Thanks for grabbing the table,” Saeko smiled wide, “this is my new fish guy!”

“Ukai Keishin,” the fish guy, Ukai, extended his hand across the table. 

Takeda shook it, “Takeda Ittetsu.” He took in Ukai’s bleached hair, his serious eyes, and the worry lines he looked too young for around his mouth. His face was like a map of contradictions. A very attractive map. Takeda pulled his hand back self-consciously. “How was your first day?”

“Fine, thank you,” Ukai said. 

“He’s being modest,” Saeko said, “he was splashed by the dolphin almost immediately.”

Takeda nodded, “a high honor indeed.”

Ukai raised an eyebrow.

“You know she took two weeks to splash me,” Suga offered. “But now she does it all the time.”

“Maybe I annoyed her,” Ukai said.

“Perhaps!” Saeko laughed and brought her hands down on the table, making a loud noise. “I’m buying everyone’s beers tonight.” She stood up and walked towards the bar. 

The table fell quiet in the wake of Saeko’s sudden absence, Takeda looked towards Suga. He was looking at his phone, so Takeda resigned himself to carrying on the conversation.

“So, Ukai-san,” Takeda began, “Saeko says you just moved here. Where did you live before.”

“I lived in Kyoto.”

“Oh,” Takeda said. Once it became clear Ukai didn’t intend to offer any further information he pressed again. “Do you prefer living in a city? It can be a little quiet around here.”

Ukai’s eyebrows drew together for a moment. “I guess I don’t know yet. I always liked this place when I was a kid.”

“Right, your grandfather has lived here for a while,” Takeda remarked. 

Ukai nodded but didn’t say anything. Where was Saeko with the beer?

“What did you do in Kyoto before you moved?”

“Uh,” Ukai shifted in his seat, “a buddy of mine had just started a business, so I was helping him out a little bit. But it recently went under. Before that I was mostly working in a hardware store.”

“I’m sorry about your friend’s business,” Takeda said.

Ukai shrugged, “businesses fail.”

“I suppose so,” Takeda mumbled. This man was giving him almost nothing to work with, and Takeda could be a very chatty guy! He could small-talk with the best of them! He glanced desperately towards the bar, only to see Saeko still waiting, no beers in sight. 

Takeda steeled himself and turned his attention back to Ukai. “Do you like to build things?”

“Hm?”

“You said you worked at a hardware store,” Takeda explained, “so do you like to build things?”

“Oh, yeah,” Ukai nodded. “Mostly just home repair, but sometimes other stuff as well.”

Finally, a topic! “Like what? Do you build furniture?”

“I built a kitchen table for my apartment,” Ukai said.

“That’s really impressive!” Takeda smiled in what he hoped was an encouraging way. “Are you planning on making anything else for your place?”

Ukai scrunched his mouth to one side, apparently thinking. 

“Maybe bookshelves?” he finally said. “And I don’t really like the chairs I have with the kitchen table now, so maybe some stools.”

“That sounds great,” Takeda said. “You know I think decorating a new apartment is the-”

“Beer!” Saeko announced, cutting Takeda off. “Sorry for the wait, but here you go.” She shoved a bottle each in front of Ukai and Suga and then sat down, sipping from one herself.

“Thank you,” Ukai said before turning back to Takeda. “Sorry, what were you saying about apartment decorating?”

Takeda blinked in surprise for a moment, “uh, I don’t think it was anything important. Just that I think it’s the most fun part of moving.”

“Mm,” Ukai nodded thoughtfully. 

What was this guy's deal? Takeda couldn’t figure him out. He didn’t seem to want to talk at all, but he still seemed to think hard about every answer he gave. It was almost charming, in a socially-awkward-loner kind of way. 

“That’s what you guys were talking about? Apartment decorating?” Saeko made a face.

Suga looked up, “it got pretty grim for a moment there without you, Tanaka-san.”

“Then I hope your phone proved a great comfort to you,” Takeda sniffed. Ukai cracked a small smile, which for some unexplainable reason made the wood grain of the table incredibly fascinating to Takeda.

Suga grinned, unrepentant. “It did, thank you. Tadashi says you got a new research assistant.”

“That’s true,” Takeda said. “He’s only a third year, so I’m hoping he’ll continue on next year as well.”

“So the program’s going well, then?” Saeko asked. “If you’re funded through next year.”

Takeda took a sip from his beer and nodded, “yeah it was extended for another two years. I don’t know if I’d say we’re doing well, more so I don’t really cost the university that much money and there are undergraduates willing to do unpaid research.”

“What are you researching?” Ukai asked.

“Algae!” Takeda smiled, turning to the other man. “We take samples from the sea as well as ones growing in the different tanks and isolate certain strains. Then we take those strains and create colonies in order to determine how growth is impacted by different conditions. Mostly it’s to measure how pollutants in the ocean change the rate of growth.”

“That’s interesting,” Ukai said.

Saeko snorted. “No, it’s not. Sensei, when are you gonna get tenure so you can do some interesting projects?”

Takeda smiled. “If I ever get tenure I’m still going to be studying algae, you know that right?”

“No!” Saeko gasped in mock horror. “Say it isn’t so.”

“Oh yes,” Takeda nodded gravely. “Once I get that tenure funding I’ll be propagating algae colonies on petri dishes the size of dinner plates.”

“Seriously?” Suga raised an eyebrow.

Takeda smiled, “no. I’d still use the normal sized ones.”

“What is this talk of ‘if’ you get tenure,” Saeko scoffed, “obviously you’ll get it soon.”

“Really? Someone should tell my department head that.”

“I’ll call him right now,” Saeko pulled out her phone and waved it in Takeda’s face, making him laugh. “Don’t think I won’t! What’s his number?”

Takeda laughed again and waved her off, his face a little warm. The topic switched to funding for the Center, then Saeko’s work with their newest turtle, and then over to Suga and his work with the octopuses. With both Saeko and Suga at the table conversation was easy, and Takeda felt bathed in the bright circle they cast. Suga even managed to coax a laugh out of Ukai, though a very quiet one. Takeda decided that Saeko’s newest employee fell somewhere between surly and shy, but not in an altogether unpleasant way. 

One beer turned to two, turned the three, and the bar emptied and refilled around them as the beginnings of the night crowd started to make their way in. During a lull in the conversation Takeda glanced towards the clock on the wall, and was startled by the time.

“It’s after eight,” he said.

“It is?” Ukai pushed his chair back, “I’m sorry I have to leave.”

“What, why?” Saeko asked. “It’s not that late.”

“I need to feed my cat.”

“You have a cat?” Saeko’s eyebrows disappeared into her bangs.

“Yes. Well, sort of,” Ukai stood up and pushed his chair in. “The apartment I moved into was vacant because the previous renter died and left a cat, so the landlord said I could only rent it if I took care of him.”

“You have a haunted cat,” Suga said.

“He’s not haunted!” Ukai looked offended, which Takeda found endearing.

Suga waggled his eyebrows, “if you don’t feed him does he start walking on the ceiling? Does he speak in tongues if he doesn’t get food before nine?”

“it’s just a normal cat.”

Suga smiled, “then please tell him I say hello.”

“I will not,” Ukai said. Takeda laughed, and Ukai looked at him before quickly looking towards Saeko. “Thanks for the beer.”

“Sure, sure,” she waved him off, “go feed your cat.”

He nodded, then looked towards Takeda again. “Nice to meet you, Sensei.” He turned to leave.

Takeda raised a hand in farewell. “Nice to meet you, too. You know you don’t-” Ukai was already out of earshot as he finished, “-have to call me that.”

“That’s what you are, though.” Suga said. He picked up his beer and drained the last bit.

“You two don’t have to call me that either, you know,” Takeda grumbled.

“It’s just more fun this way,” Suga explained.

“If you say so,” Takeda said. “You know I should be going too, I still have papers to grade.”

“Sensei!” Saeko exclaimed, “how could you possibly do that? You know if you leave we’ll have to go too, because cutting a party in half always ends it.”

“I thought this was just supposed to be happy hour,” Takeda said.

“Just one more,” Suga looked at Takeda with pleading eyes.

Takeda eyed his two drinking companions and felt his resolve crumble.

“Fine,” he finally said, “but Saeko better still be buying.” 

They both cheered, and Takeda couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. The papers could wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! This is an AU I’ve been messing around with for a few months and finally had some time to work on it. I was inspired when I saw some fanart of Ukai as a marine biologist with a baby turtle (@bokutokay on insta/tiktok) and I just went from there! 
> 
> A big part of the fun for this particular story is messing with the dynamics of different friendships and relationships and seeing how the characterizations hold up/break down in response to those changes. Part of this is introducing some age differences and potential power dynamics which are not present in the original work. I’ve tried to do this as thoughtfully as I can, as the potential for abuse of power in some of these situations does exist and being mindful of that is really important to me. 
> 
> However, I’m an imperfect person and I definitely have my blindspots, so please tell me if something bothers you because I’m so happy to discuss! I love to chat in the comments if that’s something that interests you. Also, I know very little about biology so if YOU know about marine biology (or biology lab practices in general) and have a correction/are willing to help me out a little I would love to hear from you!
> 
> If it’s not already obvious, I tend to be chatty in my endnotes! I like to use them to talk through my thought processes while writing, which can sometimes get a little wordy. Please only read them if you’re interested - I’ll never include any vital information in the endnotes, they’re more like journal entries to track what’s going on/my thinking during a given project. 
> 
> Finally, since each chapter is one day and not every character’s pov is represented every day, the chapters will probably vary somewhat in length. Sorry about that in advance! However, this means that shorter chapters will (most likely) be written more quickly. Thanks so much for reading - it truly means the world to me <3


	2. May 14th

Ukai quickly settled into a routine at Karasuno. He arrived every day around 8:30, prepped food for the animals, distributed said food along with any medications scheduled for the day, and then started on cleaning the tanks. He cleaned the turtles’ pools first, and then moved on to the glass tanks before finishing with the stingrays. Often he would be pulled away from his routine by Saeko or Suga, who needed an extra set of hands for what they were doing. Ukai found his days passed quickly, and he felt tired but satisfied every evening when he finished work.

On the Tuesday of Ukai’s second week at Karasuno he had just begun cleaning the turtles’ pools when he was distracted by an unfamiliar car pulling into the center’s gravel driveway. He paused to look out the window and watched two people hop out of the back two doors. It was a young man and woman, maybe in their early twenties, and Ukai didn’t recognize either. A moment later a familiar figure emerged from the driver's seat, and Ukai watched Takeda Ittetsu lead the other two towards the research building. Right. On Tuesdays the undergraduates spent a few hours gathering samples and running a few tests in the lab. Ukai made a silent wish that they would stay out of his way and went back to cleaning. 

The turtle pools were clean around the time Ukai would normally break for lunch, so he brought his food into their room and watched the injured female turtle move slowly around in the water as he ate leftover curry. Ukai had taken to sitting near her pool whenever he had a free moment and trying to observe her progress. He thought her wounds looked a little better from the week before, or at least much less inflamed. She was eating more of the food he brought, so every day he had to scoop fewer chunks of uneaten fish out of the water before dropping in the new ones. He tried to give her the best looking pieces of fish, in case she was turned off by the unappealing ones. The male turtle had no such proclivities, and he always ate his food quickly. Ukai wasn’t quite sure why he felt like keeping an eye on the female turtle, but since they had both shown up at the center around the same time he felt an odd kinship with her. Privately, he considered them fellow transplants from somewhere far away, who were both feeling a little out of sorts settling into a new place. Saeko would have scolded him for getting attached, but Ukai didn’t think there was any harm in a little extra care for their most fragile patient.

By the time Ukai had finished his own lunch, the turtle had eaten all but one of her fish chunks. Ukai wiped his hands carefully before stepping closer to the pool and leaning over to look more closely. His fingers wrapped around the pool’s plastic edge, and he rubbed a thumb against its uneven texture.

“Come on mama,” Ukai urged quietly, “I know you can eat that last bite.” The turtle remained unmoved. 

He knew he was getting dangerously close to giving her a name, which was definitely a step towards becoming attached, but it didn’t feel right to call her nothing. Plus, she had gotten injured fighting her way through the currents after laying her eggs, so Ukai felt she had earned the title.

He tried another tactic. “It’s the tastiest piece,” Ukai said. “You’re leaving it in the water after I cut it up special for you. Come on, please? Just a nibble?”

The turtle’s flippers stirred, and she moved forward in the water slightly. Ukai held his breath. Slowly, the turtle’s head came forward, then cocked to one side. She seemed to regard the piece of fish, floating just a few centimeters above her, for a long moment. Then, as if it was the most natural thing, she grabbed the fish and, chewing it three times, ate it whole.

“Yes!” Ukai pumped a fist in the air. He smiled at the turtle, who had drawn her head halfway into her shell again. “I knew you could do it.”

A knock came from the door. “Ukai-san?”

“Uh, yes?” Ukai lowered his hand self-consciously. The door was pushed open to reveal Takeda, who looked uncertain. Ukai wondered how much of his one-sided conversation with the turtle had been overheard and felt embarrassment burn in his stomach.

“I’m sorry to bother you, but Saeko told me there were extra buckets in here.”

“Oh, sure,” Ukai stepped away from the turtle and towards the closet on the far wall. “They should be in here.”

As he rummaged through the contents of the closet Ukai could hear Takeda make his way further into the room. It wasn’t exactly an intrusion, but there was something about the turtle room that felt personal to Ukai. He found himself almost resentful that Takeda had stepped into it so thoughtlessly. 

“Were you talking to someone before I came in? I didn’t mean to interrupt a phone call or anything.”

“You didn’t.” Ukai pulled a stack of smaller buckets from the corner of the closet and turned to find Takeda hovering behind him. He put down the buckets and let out a sigh. It wasn’t fair of him to feel any annoyance towards the professor, he hadn’t done anything wrong. Takeda had been very nice to Ukai at the bar last week, and it certainly wasn’t his fault that all things university-related tended to leave a bit of a sour taste in Ukai’s mouth. 

Ukai decided on the truth as an olive branch, even if only he would know that’s what it was. “I was talking to the turtle.”

“Oh, which one?” Takeda asked; as if talking to turtles was a completely normal activity for a grown man to take part in.

Ukai pointed to the pool he had been standing by, “the female one.”

“How’s she doing?” Takeda made his way towards her.

“She’s in pretty bad shape,” Ukai warned.

Takeda peered into the pool, and Ukai watched his face as he took in the battered state of the turtle. He didn’t flinch or look disgusted, which Ukai was expecting, but instead just gazed down into the water, his eyes sad.

He took a shuddering breath. “Is she in pain?”

“I’m not sure,” Ukai said. He joined Takeda by the pool and looked down at the turtle as well. “She’s eating much more than she was a week ago, so that’s something.”

“That’s good,” Takeda’s knuckles were white on the edge of the pool. “That’s really good.”

Ukai felt the last bit of his annoyance with the professor melt away at his response to the turtle’s condition.

“That’s what I was talking to her about before you came in,” Ukai explained. “That she, uh, needed to eat. And she ate all of her fish for the first time so I was celebrating.”

Takeda smiled, his cheeks pushing his glasses up slightly. “That’s excellent. Definitely worthy of celebration.” 

The early afternoon sun streamed through the windows and glinted off of Takeda’s glasses, making his face almost glow. Ukai looked back to the turtle.

“Does she have a name?” Takeda asked.

“Not really,” Ukai said. He hesitated before continuing, “I’ve been calling her mama, though. Because she was injured after laying her eggs.”

“Hmm,” Takeda hummed, “it’s perfect.”

“You can’t tell Saeko,” Ukai said. “She said not to get attached.”

Takeda laughed, bell-like. “Okay, I won’t tell her you’re soft on the turtle.”

“Hey, I never said that,” Ukai turned to find the professor smiling up at him, and felt himself grinning in return. “But thank you. For not telling.”

Takeda nodded and looked back towards the turtle. He leaned forward slightly, so his face was closer to the water.

“Bye mama,” Takeda whispered, “feel better soon.” 

Ukai looked away, finding that the room suddenly felt a little small. He gazed out the window and watched out of the corner of his eye as Takeda straightened up and went to retrieve his buckets from the floor near the closet.

“Thanks for the buckets, Ukai-san,” he said, “and for introducing me to the turtle.”

“Sure thing,” Ukai said. He raised a hand to wave goodbye, and Takeda flapped one hand slightly from where it was securing his stack of buckets.

Ukai watched him leave before turning back to the turtle.

“I’m not soft on you,” he said. The turtle stirred slightly, and Ukai offered her pool a little pat before leaving to clean the other tanks in the center.

* * *

Suga’s favorite day of the week was Tuesday, because that was when the undergraduates visited. Partly it was nice to talk to people closer to his own age, and partly Saeko tended to let him do his own thing on Tuesdays since she was usually occupied with whatever Takeda had going on in the lab. But the main reason Tuesday was Suga’s favorite day knocked on the door of the storage room as he hefted two large buckets of gravel.

“Can I help?”

Suga turned with a smile. “Hello Sawamura, how nice of you to offer.”

Daichi took the fuller of the two buckets. “Where to?”

“By the big tanks,” Suga said, and motioned for Daichi to lead the way. 

Daichi Sawamura was in his fourth year of university, and his third semester as a research assistant to Takeda. He was polite, and hardworking, and in Suga’s professional opinion absolutely adorable. He was also, in all likelihood, very heterosexual. It’s not as if Suga had ever asked him directly, but after a little over a year of knowing one another he felt pretty confident in that assumption. 

If asked to describe their relationship Suga would probably say they were friends, but mostly they just existed in similar orbits. Suga was friends with Yamaguchi, who hung out with the other research assistants, so Suga also hung out with the research assistants. They were friendly, but it’s not as if he had Daichi’s number, and a year into this almost-friendship it didn’t seem likely he would ever get it. 

But Suga was fine with how things were, really. And if he walked behind Daichi when they were carrying gravel so he could stare at his ass, who was that hurting?

“Right here?” Daichi had stopped in front of the largest fish tank and Suga narrowly avoided running into him.

“Yeah, just next to the tank.”

Daichi set his bucket down where directed, and Suga settled the other one beside it.

A movement in the octopus tank caught Suga’s eye and he walked over to look inside. The larger octopus drifted towards the smaller one, its tentacles outstretched. Suga watched them swim around each other for a moment, before they came together.

“What are they doing?” Daichi’s voice came from over his shoulder.

“I’m not quite…” Suga trailed off in sudden realization. Quickly he turned and covered Daichi’s eyes with his hands.

“Suga!” Daichi laughed in surprise, “what the hell are you doing?”

“Uh,” Suga stifled a ridiculous giggle that rose in his chest. “You can’t look, they’re having sex.”

Daichi’s eyebrows rose behind Suga’s outstretched fingers. “You mean they’re mating?”

“I absolutely do not mean that, as they are both male,” Suga said. 

Daichi stilled, and all of a sudden Suga was very aware of the other man’s warm breath against his wrists. Silence stretched between them, and for a moment Suga was afraid of what Daichi might say. 

“You have gay octopuses?” Daichi asked. He moved his head to peer around Suga’s hands, who responded by moving to block his vision again.

“Apparently,” Suga said, laughing. He felt about twelve years old.

“But why are you covering my eyes? I’m all grown up, I think I can handle a gay octopus or two.”

Suga left hands hands in place. “This is graduate level octopus fucking, so unfortunately you’ll have to wait until next year.”

Daichi was laughing too, “Suga, you’re being ridiculous.” He wrapped his hands around Suga’s wrists but didn’t try to move them. 

“I’m so sorry but I will have to insist,” Suga deadpanned. He looked back over his shoulder to find that the octopuses had drifted apart again. He moved his hands, but Daichi’s stayed wrapped around his wrists.

“Okay they’re done,” Suga said.

Daichi raised an eyebrow, “any particular reason for the censorship?”

“You mean besides it being graduate-level material?” Suga asked.

“Yeah besides that.” Daichi was smiling and not letting go of Suga’s wrists, which was making something near his sternum ache.

“We at Karasuno like to keep things rated G. I was enforcing viewer discretion.” Suga smiled and lowered his hands more, pulling them out of Daichi’s grasp. 

The other man looked down at his own hands, frowned slightly, and then stuffed them into his pockets.

“Something wrong?” Suga asked. He could feel anxiety pool in his gut. God, now he’d gone and made Daichi uncomfortable. That’ll teach him to joke around with straight guys. Fuck. Suga took a step backwards, his back almost against the octopus tank.

“Not at all.” Daichi smiled, and Suga wondered if he had imagined the troubled look on his face a moment before. 

“Thanks for helping me with the gravel.”

“Sure,” Daichi rocked back on his heels slightly, “do you need any more help?”

It felt almost unfair how nice Daichi was. 

“Don’t you have, like, schoolwork to do?” Suga asked.

Daichi shrugged, “I already took all of my samples, so I’ve got some time.”

“Oh, well I think we got some new deliveries. We could go see what they are.”

“Okay,” Daichi nodded. 

Suga started towards the loading dock, and Daichi fell into step beside him. Daichi was easy to talk to, and as they walked he told Suga about his course load that semester and asked Suga about his projects. As they reached the loading dock Daichi was laughing as Suga described the last time one of the octopuses tried to escape.

Suga grinned, “I’m telling you they only cause me problems.”

“I think I’m starting to see that,” Daichi smiled back and held open the door. 

The loading dock could be accessed both by car and by boat, and a large truck was parked in the gravel drive leading up to it. Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Saeko’s younger brother, was unloading flats of aquatic plants and large drums of propane from the back. He looked up as Suga and Daichi approached and waved.

“Hey Ryuu,” Suga called, “do you know Sawamura?” 

“Not yet,” Tanaka gave Daichi a nod. “Nice to meet you, I’m Tanaka Ryuunosuke.”

Daichi nodded back, “Sawamura Daichi, likewise.”

Suga settled on the steps leading up to the dock and patted the spot next to him for Daichi to sit. He raised an eyebrow but obediently sat down.

“What do you have for us today?” Suga asked.

“Java ferns,” Tanaka said, before giving Suga a skeptical look. “Aren’t you on the clock? Shouldn’t you be helping me or something?”

“Maybe,” Suga shrugged one shoulder, “but why do you care? Your sister doesn’t even pay you for these deliveries.”

Tanaka snorted, “shit you’re right. Carry on.”

“You’re not going to help him?” Daichi asked.

“Hm?” Suga turned to face Daichi, only to find his face much closer than he had anticipated. His throat was suddenly very dry. “I probably will. But I hate moving plant flats.”

“Why?”

Suga turned back to look at the truck. “I always get muddy.”

“Well then should I go and help him?”

“If you really want to.” Suga glanced to the side and met Daichi’s eyes, who grinned.

“Alright.” Daichi made no move to get up. 

Suga leaned back, and the worn wooden stairs dug into his spine. He tipped his head back and let his eyes shut for a moment, the sun bathing his face. The door to the loading dock creaked, and Suga cracked one eye open to look. Kiyoko stood in the doorway.

“Hi Kiyoko,” Suga called.

“Hey Suga,” she waved. “Daichi, we’re taking the last set of samples now.”

“Oh okay,” Daichi pushed himself up from the steps and looked apologetically towards Suga. “I gotta-” 

He was cut off by a crash and a muffled curse. Suga looked over to find that Tanaka, who had just come around the side of his truck, had dropped a drum of propane on his foot. He looked as if he were trying very hard to hold back a litany of curses, and his eyes were trained on Kiyoko.

“Sorry,” he breathed.

“Oh my god,” Kiyoko stepped towards him, “are you okay?”

“I’m fine, totally fine,” Tanaka picked up the propane and took a half step back, wincing slightly. “Sorry about that, but I’m fine. Don’t worry.” He visibly swallowed, and held the propane in front of him like a shield.

“Are you sure? You should sit down,” Kiyoko took another step towards him.

“No no, I’m good,” Tanaka’s voice was becoming high pitched. “Sorry to bother you. Enjoy your, uh, science.” He looked desperately towards Suga, who had to press his lips together to keep from laughing.

“Okay, if you’re sure. But you should ice that,” Kiyoko looked unconvinced. 

Tanaka nodded quickly. “Right, yeah. Absolutely. Ice is a good idea. Will do.” 

Suga turned to Daichi and arched one eyebrow, “I think that’s your cue, Sawamura.”

“Right. See you, Suga.”

“Enjoy your science,” Suga said with a wave. Daichi laughed, before quickly disguising it as a cough and following Kiyoko back inside. 

Once they were gone Suga turned to look at Tanaka, who was still holding the propane tank in front of him and gazing after Kiyoko.

“Wow,” Suga said, “that was really embarrassing to watch.”

Tanaka snapped out of his daze and turned towards Suga, scowling. “Has any ever told you that you really suck sometimes?”

“Hmm,” Suga tapped his chin with one finger, pretending to think. “No, never. I’m a very pleasant person.”

“Pleasant my ass,” Tanaka grumbled.

Suga laughed and hopped up from his seat on the steps. “Actually, I’m so pleasant I’m going to help you unload.”

“Pretty sure that’s just your job.”

Suga smiled and liberated the propane tank from Tanaka’s grip. “And I plan on doing it pleasantly.”

Tanaka rolled his eyes and grabbed a flat of plants, following Suga back into Karasuno.

* * *

Yamaguchi hadn’t expected anyone to actually say yes when Takeda had offered the other research assistants the choice to stay and help organize old data and analyze regressions. This was one of those tasks Yamaguchi felt sort of resigned to do alone, so he was surprised when the newest research assistant offered to stay and help. Yamaguchi figured Tsukishimia probably still felt bad about insulting his work, and had picked data analysis as his penance. It’s not like Yamaguchi minded, really he was grateful for the help. Tsukishima had even volunteered to do the most tedious of the data input, which seemed generous even by Yamaguchi’s standards.

About a minute after setting Tsukishima up with the printed notes and handwritten data from the past three months Yamaguchi started to think that maybe he had just volunteered because he was really good at it. Tsukishima used one hand to type in numbers, and the other to track where on a page he was reading from. Even typing in this way he barely glanced at the computer screen or the keyboard, and moved through the pages of notes more quickly than Yamaguchi knew was possible.

“Have you done a lot of data input before?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Yeah,” Tsukishima answered without looking up. “I was on an archeological dig and I was in charge of compiling all the information for dating the objects.”

“When did you switch from archeology to biology?”

“Two semesters ago.” Tsukishima moved to another page of notes.

“Wow,” Yamaguchi commented, “your work is really impressive. I would have assumed you had always studied bio.”

Tsukishima’s hands stilled and he looked at Yamaguchi, blinking behind his glasses. “Uh, thank you.” He colored slightly, which surprised Yamaguchi. He wouldn’t have expected modesty from Tsukishima, it was cute.

“Well carry on,” Yamaguchi looked meaningfully at the stack of notes under Tsukishima’s left hand. 

“Right.” Tsukishima turned to the computer screen and clicked a new cell in the spreadsheet. He settled back into his rhythm, and his fingers flew across the keyboard. 

Turning to his regression analysis, Yamaguchi began typing up a report. He worked quickly, but he still found himself glancing over his laptop every few minutes to glance at Tsukishima and observe his insane focus. And, possibly, to just take a little peek at the man himself. Yamaguchi was a big enough person to admit that Tsukishima was, to put it mildly, very attractive. He could be honest with himself and acknowledge that the new research assistant was nice to look at. On his fourth or fifth glance over his laptop to, he wasn’t ashamed to admit it, stare at Tsukishima, he found the other man already looking back. Tsukishima’s eyes widened as they met Yamaguchi’s.

Fuck. Yamaguchi had been caught. He needed something to say to make this not weird.

“Do you want to work on the analysis or are you good?” Perfect.

“I’m okay,” Tsukishima said. “Did you want to switch?”

Yamaguchi shook his head, “nope.” 

He went back to work, determined not to glance over his laptop again. An hour later he had succeeded, and had the crick in his neck to prove it. He stretched, and rolled his head back until he felt a little pop. Yamaguchi ran his hands through his hair and re-tied his ponytail, looking over the last paragraph he had written. The analysis was almost done, it just needed a conclusion, an index, and a strong proofread.

As if reading his mind Tsukishima spoke up from his spot a few feet away. “I’m pretty much done here, I just have to double check my work.”

“That’s great!” Yamaguchi glanced up to find the other man staring hard at the computer screen. “I should be done in thirty. Thanks so much for your help, this would have taken forever if it were just me.”

Tsukishima nodded but didn’t turn away from where he was checking his work. “Sure.”

Half an hour later found Yamaguchi proofreading his analysis for the second time. He changed a word in the last sentence, then changed it back and pressed save.

“Okay!” he said into the quiet office, “all done.” 

He looked up to find Tsukishima had switched from the office’s desktop to his own laptop and had his headphones on.

“Tsukishima?” Yamaguchi raised his voice slightly and the other man looked up.

“Yeah?” Tsukishima pulled his headphones off. “Sorry, what did you say?”

“We’re done. I think there’s still time to go to the center, I can drive us.”

“I thought you needed help here today.”

“I did, but we finished. You were very fast, so now we have time to join everyone else at the research center and help analyze samples.”

“Oh,” Tsukishima’s brow furrowed, “right, okay.”

“Is there something wrong?”

“No.” Tsukishima bit his lip, looking back at the desktop he had been using for data input. “We’ll be analyzing samples for this project?”

“Well, yeah,” Yamaguchi gave him a questioning look. “What else would we be analyzing them for?”

“Nothing. Let’s go.” Tsukishima snapped his laptop closed and stood up. 

He stood stiffly, and his eyes were trained somewhere near his feet. He looked worried, but for the life of him Yamaguchi couldn’t figure out why. They would just be doing routine analyses, what was worrying about that? The research team did them every week. Oh! 

“Tsukishima,” Yamaguchi chose his words carefully, “have you ever actually taken or analyzed a sample in the field before?”

“Technically… no.”

“Oh.” Well, that explained it. “I can just show you when we get there, it’s not any harder than lab work you do in any upper level class.”

Tsukishima grimaced slightly. “The upper level classes I’ve taken have been purely theoretical.”

Ah. He probably should have known that. “That’s okay,” Yamaguchi said quickly. “I can still show you at the research center, it’s not a problem.”

“Wouldn’t it make more sense for me to do the work here and then just go next week?”

“Not really…” Yamaguchi trailed off and gave Tsukishima a searching look. “Are you maybe a little nervous to do field work?”

The look Tsukishima sent Yamaguchi would have evaporated a lesser man, as it was Yamaguchi was left only slightly singed. 

He bit back a smile. “I could show you here.” 

“Yeah?” Tsukishima’s scowl melted away. 

This time Yamaguchi did smile. “Absolutely.” 

Yamaguchi led the undergraduate to the empty biology lab and pulled out the algae colonies which had been analyzed two weeks before.

“Taking the samples themselves is super easy, it’s mostly just putting water into the right containers,” Yamaguchi began, “this isn’t exactly what we’ll be doing there, but it’ll give you a good idea.”

He walked Tsukishima through mounting an algae colony without disturbing too much of the gel it was growing in. After Tsukishima had a chance to look at it under the microscope, he followed Yamaguchi’s instructions in preparing another petri dish with the gel medium in order to isolate more colonies. Finally, they ran a few reactions and Yamaguchi demonstrated how to best record the results. Unsurprisingly, Tsukishima sailed through the practice without any problems, his technique confident and precise.

Yamaguchi labeled the solutions and petri dishes Tsukishima had prepared as “practice 1” with a few pieces of masking tape, and then helped him to clean up.

“That was perfect,” Yamaguchi said. “Why were you concerned?”

Tsukishima paused in washing the beaker he was holding under the hot water, his face inscrutable.

“I’ve only taken one bio lab,” he finally said. “I wanted to get it right.”

“I understand,” Yamaguchi said. “You’re definitely prepared, though. Nothing to worry about.” He offered a smile and knocked his elbow against Tsukishima’s.

“Thanks.” Tsukishima handed Yamaguchi a clean beaker to dry. “Next week I’ll be able to actually help.”

“What do you mean? You have helped, you helped a lot.”

Tsukishima scrubbed at a used petri dish hard. “But I couldn’t do the work.”

“You can, though.” Yamaguchi put the dry beaker to the side and turned to face Tsukishima. “Today you were a huge help, and you just showed me that you’ll be able to work at the research center as well. We all need to practice sometimes, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t an important part of this team.”

“I mean I just…” Tsukishima trailed off. He rinsed the petri dish and turned off the water. Then, instead of handing it to Yamaguchi to dry he grabbed a paper towel himself and began patting it dry.

“I didn’t expect to get the job,” he finally said. “I knew applying as a third year was a long shot, but it looked better than the other options so I wanted to try. I’m not really qualified though.”

“But you got in, so you are qualified,” Yamaguchi said. 

Tsukishima gave him a skeptical look. 

“I’m serious!” Yamaguchi pressed on, “Sensei doesn’t care if you know how to do the experiments coming in, mostly because it’s easy enough to learn. He just thought that you ask good questions and have a good sense for research. I think so too, by the way. So don’t think you’re not qualified.” 

Tsukishima put the petri dish down next to the others. “You think those things?” he asked.

Yamaguchi’s face went hot. He really needed to learn when to shut up. “Yeah, I mean I read all of the applications this semester and made my recommendations.” 

“How many people was I up against? When you made your recommendation.” 

Yamaguchi looked down and chewed on his lower lip. He wanted to tell Tsukishima the truth, but also knew he probably shouldn’t. 

“Sensei told me to give him the five or six best applications.”

“So, five other people?” The corners of Tsukishima’s mouth twitched in what might have been a smile.

“Yeah, around that.”

Yamaguchi was lying. Three months before he had stacked five applications on Takeda’s desk and then handed Tsukishima’s directly to him. 

_ “This is who you want on the team.” _

_ Takeda had flipped to the first page of the application and frowned. “It’s a third year. We’re only accepting people in their final year of undergrad this semester. I only want people who are preparing for graduate school.”  _

_ “This student should be preparing for grad school,” Yamaguchi had said. “Just read the first paper he included. His application was the strongest one we got, and I think you would be remiss not to hire him.”  _

_ “Remiss, huh?” Takeda had raised an eyebrow. “I’ll read it, but I don’t want to hire someone who isn’t serious about the program.”  _

_ “I can’t promise he’d stick with it, but…” Yamaguchi had weighed his next words carefully, not quite sure how to express why he knew this was the right applicant to choose.  _

_ “But what?” Takeda had prompted. _

_ “I get the feeling the program could be really good for him. Just read the application, you should hire Tsukishima Kei.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: the plural of ‘octopus’ is octopuses and not octopi as I previously thought! Also, many octopus species have been observed to be bisexual. Don’t you just love nature? (Also ik this chapter is so weird but I had an internship that involved working with animals and I swear they're just Like That.)
> 
> The research I’ve done for this fic has been pretty minimal, but it’s all super interesting! I hope the way I’ve described these biology experiments make sense (though let’s be real, this story is not actually about biology). 
> 
> Hopefully I’ll be able to update again within the next few days! Take care and as always thanks for reading <3


	3. June 3rd

The sun rose so early that though Takeda got into his car before 7:00 the seats already radiated warmth. He reflexively turned on the air conditioner, only to be hit in the face with a blast of hot air. Well, that was one way to wake up. The air turned cool as the engine warmed up, and by the time he was turning onto the main road the temperature in his car was starting to move away from suffocating and inch towards bearable. 

There wasn’t much traffic so early in the morning, only hazy sheets of dew steaming off the asphalt as Takeda made his way towards Karasuno. His fingers drummed nervously on the steering wheel, and he glanced at the clock on his car’s radio every minute or so. 

6:48 a.m.

He picked up his phone from the center console and, one eye on the road, found Saeko’s contact and pressed ‘call.’ His phone’s ring was loud in the quiet car, and the automated voice telling Takeda to leave a message was even louder. He hung up, and hoped she was already at work. It was a long shot, he knew, but as long as he could get those files before 8:00 he would make it to his meeting. Fifteen minutes away from the research center he called again, and again there was no answer. Maybe she was with one of the animals. 

7:12 a.m.

Takeda pulled into the driveway, gravel crunching under the wheels of his car. A car Takeda didn’t recognize was already parked, maybe Saeko had driven a rental. He approached the research building and pulled on the door, finding it locked. Shit. He knocked, and heard the sound bounce hollow through the heavy metal of the door. He waited a minute, no answer. Another knock, this time pounding with the soft side of his fist. Again no one answered. Maybe the car had been left there overnight and no one was there.

7:16 a.m.

As a last ditch effort Takeda tried the doors to the rescue, though he knew if the research center wasn’t open it was unlikely any other building would be. To his surprise the door opened smoothly, and Takeda stepped into the dark entryway and let it close behind him. The hallway leading away from him was lit by a sliver of light shining from behind the almost-closed door to the room the turtles were housed in. He approached the door on tiptoe, though he wasn’t sure where the instinct to be quiet came from. If anything, he should announce himself so he wouldn’t scare Saeko. Feeling silly for his timid approach, Takeda pushed the door open firmly and found… no one. The room was empty. 

Stepping inside, Takeda looked around more carefully. There didn’t appear to be anyone in the room but… his eyes landed on the steps leading up to the female turtle’s pool. There was a soft black object on one of the steps, it’s texture immediately out of place amidst the constructions of metal and plastic. Takeda stepped closer, and then immediately froze.

The black object was a folded sweatshirt, and Ukai’s cheek rested on the soft material as he slept. His bleached hair had escaped its usual hairband and hung loose over his face. Whenever Takeda had met Ukai before he looked troubled, or tired, or annoyed; but in sleep his expression had flattened out. He looked very young like this, with his face gone slack and his eyelashes impossibly long. 

Takeda took a half step backwards. Watching Ukai sleep felt… intimate. Too intimate. He should go back into the hallway and knock on the door. Let him wake up in privacy. Or, a cowardly voice in Takeda’s head whispered, he could leave the building and call Saeko again. She would probably be up by now. That would be easiest, really. He groped blindly for the door handle behind him, eyes on Ukai’s sleeping form. He shifted slightly, his eyebrows drawing together, and Takeda stilled again. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to talk to Ukai, it was just that Takeda was almost positive Ukai disliked him. Or something akin to dislike. 

After the second time they’d met, when he’d caught Ukai talking to the turtle, Takeda felt like the other man had begun avoiding him. Ukai was very polite, and never said anything to make Takeda feel unwelcome, but still he could tell that the younger man never stayed near him for longer than was absolutely necessary. After a lifetime of calculating the way other men moved around him, the way the wrong smile could make someone Takeda had known for years retreat from his side, he knew when he was being avoided. The most paranoid parts of him said that Ukai had seen how his eyes had gone wide when they’d met at the bar, remembered how his handshake had lasted a moment too long. Because Takeda did find Ukai attractive. But he would never have acted on that attraction. Where some people had boundaries Takeda had constructed moats.

Ukai was moving again, his face pushing against the folds of the sweatshirt under his head, shoulders turning. He was about to wake up, and Takeda was still frozen by the door. Too late to take the cowardly exit, he took a step forward instead. And another one. Four more and he was two meters from Ukai, who still hadn’t opened his eyes.

“Ukai-san,” Takeda said. 

Ukai made a noise, something like a hum, and then his eyes blinked open. He sat up, slowly.

“Sensei?” he brought the back of his hand to his mouth and rubbed at the patch of drool there, flushing slightly. 

“I’m sorry,” Takeda’s voice was a whisper. “I needed something from the office and the door was open. I thought you might be Saeko.”

Ukai clambered to his feet. “It’s fine, I’m the one who was asleep.”

“Were you here all night?”

“I went home at first, but Saeko said she wasn’t…” Ukai trailed off for a moment, his eyes filling with worry. “Shit,” he spun to look into the pool he had just been sleeping against and visibly sagged with relief.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, she just wasn’t super responsive last night. I came back in to watch her just in case.” Ukai didn’t finish his thought, but he didn’t need to. Takeda felt his stomach clench with worry.

“Is she alright?”

“Yeah, yeah she seems okay. I was supposed to leave after four hours if she seemed stable, but she still wasn’t moving much at that point so I stayed.”

“And fell asleep?” Takeda volunteered.

Ukai nodded, the morning sunlight shining through his sleep-mussed hair, “seems like it.”

“You should go home and rest for real.”

“I’ll be fine,” Ukai stretched, and Takeda watched his shoulders shift under his thin t-shirt. 

“Did you say you needed to get into the office?” Ukai asked, turning to face Takeda again.

“Hm? Oh, yes. If you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.”

Ukai led Takeda back outside and then into the research building. He unlocked the office door with a small silver key and pushed the door inwards, gesturing for Takeda to go first. He slipped by Ukai and his shoulders curled away from the other man’s arm, outstretched as he held the door open. Safely inside, Takeda walked to Saeko’s filing cabinet and leafed through the folders in the top drawer.

“What are you looking for?” Ukai asked from the doorway.

“Notes and numbers from the past three weeks,” Takeda said. “Usually I keep the results from what we do here together and then digitize them after a month, but I have this meeting today.” He pulled the correct folders from the drawer and let it slide shut before turning around.

“Found ‘em?” Ukai asked.

“Yeah,” Takeda offered a smile, which Ukai sleepily returned. He dropped into the chair in front of Saeko’s desk and yawned, his shoulders rounding into a tired curve. 

“What time is it?” Ukai asked.

Takeda regarded the clock about Saeko’s door, “about 7:35.”

“When’s your meeting?”

“It’s at 8:15,” Takeda brandished his files, “thanks to you I’ll make it.”

“I’m glad.” Ukai slumped further in the chair and tipped his head back, letting it rest against the chairback. 

“Are you sure you won’t go home?”

“Nah,” Ukai tipped his head forward again, and rubbed his hands roughly through his hair. “I’m good.”

“You don’t look good.” The words slipped out.

Ukai glanced towards Takeda and gave a lopsided grin. “No?” 

Takeda was a liar. Ukai looked so good. So impossibly good. God.

“That was rude, my apologies,” Takeda attempted a smile. “I just mean you seem a little tired.”

“Mmm,” Ukai hummed in agreement. 

Takeda glanced towards the mini coffee pot on Saeko’s shelf, then towards the slouched figure of Ukai. He put the folders down onto the desk and grabbed the coffee pot, plugging it in. In the bottom drawer of Saeko’s desk was a tin of cheap coffee grounds and a stack of paper filters. Takeda scooped a generous amount of coffee grounds into a filter, and then placed it into the basket of the coffee maker. He pulled out the pot and stepped around the desk.

Ukai had watched the process silently, but when Takeda was level with him he spoke. “Don’t you have to leave for your meeting?”

“I’ve got a little time,” Takeda said. “Plus you saved my meeting, so it’s the least I can do.”

Takeda filled the little coffee pot in the bathroom two doors down from Saeko’s office. He checked the amount of water, his eye level with the little transparent window in the side of the plastic pot. Catching his own gaze in the bathroom mirror, Takeda studied the shadows under his eyes and the anxious set of his mouth. Was this meaningless kindness, the little pot of coffee because he knew where Saeko kept it, too much? Was he showing his hand, king of hearts and all?

He kept his eyes on his own feet as he walked back into the office, slid the coffee pot onto the warming plate, and pressed a button which made the machine sputter to life. Steam rose from the seams in the plastic as coffee dribbled through the filter. Two minutes and it was done, and he hadn’t said a word to Ukai. He could feel the other man watching him, and it made his shoulders twitch. 

He finally looked up. “I don’t have a mug.”

“That’s okay,” Ukai held out a hand, “I’ll just take the pot.”

Takeda nodded and held it out, still steaming lightly, the plastic warm to the touch. Ukai’s fingers slipped between Takeda’s, who couldn’t pull back in fear of spilling. He tried to make his fingers as still as possible, willing them to be cold and hard. But Ukai took the coffee pot without cringing away from his touch, he didn’t seem scared of Takeda’s hands.

“Thank you,” Ukai said, popping off the lid and raising the steaming pot to his mouth.

“It’s nothing.” Let it be nothing.

Ukai took a careful sip, then a longer one. “Maybe, uh, maybe Tanaka-san doesn’t have to know about me drinking from her coffee pot.”

“I imagine your impromptu slumber party is also on a need-to-know basis?”

Ukai’s mouth twitched into a smile, “I appreciate it.”

“Anytime.”

“I feel like I keep asking you to keep secrets for me,” Ukai took another sip of coffee. “The turtle, the coffee, falling asleep…” he trailed off.

Takeda laughed, “you call those secrets?”

Ukai gave Takeda a searching look, “what do you know about secrets, Sensei?”

Takeda stilled behind the desk, one hand on the folders. Careful, Ittetsu.

“Very little,” he smiled. “I’ll get out of your way. Thanks again for your help.”

“Sure.” Ukai went back to his coffee.

Takeda left the research building and let the warmth of the sun bleed the tension from his shoulders. As he turned the key in his car’s ignition he thought about Ukai’s question.

_ What do you know about secrets? _

If Takeda had been honest he would have told Ukai that if you hide a big enough part of yourself, everything starts to feel like a secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so the turnaround on this chapter was quicker than I thought, probably a combo of it being so short and that Takeda’s POV feels really relatable and easy for me to write (most likely I'm just projecting). Next chapter should be a little bit less of a downer! (also I’m not sure if this really counts as angst… but if it does and you think I should add that to the tags lmk!)


	4. June 11th

Sawamura Daichi considered himself a pretty patient guy. He understood working on a research team for the first time could be hard, and he knew firsthand that the workload involved in a graduate-level program could be a lot for an undergraduate. He knew these things, however this knowledge did very little to push aside the irritation he felt for the man standing in front of him.

“What do you mean, no?” he asked Tsukishima, the words hissing out between his clenched teeth.

“I mean no. I told you, I’m done with taking my samples so I’m not taking yours.” He stared down at Daichi, his expression bored. God, this guy could be such a dick.

“That’s not how this works,” Daichi grit out. “We work as a team, so if there’s work left to do it’s everyone’s responsibility to finish it.”

“Well I trust you’re responsible enough to handle it.”

Daichi could have throttled him. “It’s. A. Team. Tsukishima.”

“Tell me something,” Tsukishima cocked an eyebrow. “Is the time you spend talking to Sugawara-san part of this so-called teamwork?”

Daichi could feel his face heat up. In all fairness, he had spent a good part of the last half hour talking to Suga, and it had made him slower. The researcher had stopped by the room they were working in to change a filter in one of the fish tanks, and they had started chatting about his work. Suga was just really easy to talk to, and he was nice; unlike certain people Daichi could mention. Certain people who were staring at him with an infuriating expression as Daichi blushed and searched for a rebuttal.

He was saved from answering Tsukishima by Suga, who cut in from where he was sitting on the floor.

“It is actually,” he said. “My scintillating conversation is an integral component to the success of your project. Didn’t Sensei tell you that?”

“Really?” Tsukishima adjusted his glasses and turned to face Suga. “Did he tell you to flirt with his students too? Or is that just an added bonus?” 

Daichi choked on air, but Suga took the comment in stride.

“As a matter of fact, he did. Should I flirt with you next?” Suga leaned towards Tsukishima slightly and batted his eyelashes. “You know,” his voice was a purr, “I’ve never really liked blonds.”

Daichi laughed, and Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

“I’m still not helping you.”

“Noted,” Daichi said. 

He wanted to say something else but he was stuck on what Suga had just said. Was he actually flirting with him? Suga was sort of like this with everyone, probably more so with Kiyoko and Yamaguchi if Daichi was going to really think about it. Which he wasn’t. It was just that Daichi thought Suga was nice. He was nice and easy to talk to and Daichi was fine just helping him around the center when he could. Fine just stealing moments like this. Because it had been over a year and nothing had changed, so why would it be different now? Suga was perfectly friendly, but that was it. He was playfully flirtatious, but in a way that let Daichi know it meant nothing. Which was fine. Really. 

It was so fine that Daichi went back to taking his samples, and bit back his comment for Tsukishima, because what could he even say? That despite the fact that Tsukishima was a grade-A asshole, the real reason Daichi was mad was that Tsukishima’s comment had just served as a reminder that this was all he got? 

Daichi was startled out of his thoughts by Yamaguchi opening the door.

“Hi!” he smiled, “Absolutely no pressure, but do either of you have a moment to help me gather some stuff for my dissertation? If not no worries.”

Daichi opened his mouth to say he was still taking samples, but Tsukishima spoke before he could get a word out.

“I’m done with my samples, I can help.” 

“Great! Thank you so much.”

Daichi watched in disbelief as Tsukishima followed Yamaguchi out the door. What a dick.

“Are you kidding me?” Daichi said after the door had shut.

Suga laughed, the sound filling up the room. “He’s certainly a character.”

“Sorry he’s such an ass,” Daichi said.

“Oh, I don’t mind,” Suga smiled for a moment, then his expression clouded. “Though I, uh, about what he said-” he swallowed. “Anyway I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything, I wasn’t trying to imply that you…” Suga trailed off. They made eye contact, and for a moment he saw something hesitant and afraid in Suga’s expression. 

“You didn’t,” Daichi said, “make me uncomfortable, that is.”

“Good, I’m glad.” Suga stared down at his hands.

“You don’t have anything to apologize for,” Daichi said. He wasn’t sure why Suga looked so nervous, but he figured the least he could do was try to assuage any misplaced guilt. “Tsukishima’s just a dick, honestly you handled him better than I could have.”

“Ah, thanks,” Suga smiled but it didn’t reach his eyes. “Is he always like that?”

Daichi frowned. “Not really, now that you mention it.”

“Maybe he’s got something going on.” Suga shrugged. “Are you and Kiyoko still coming out with Tadashi and me tonight,?”

“Yeah, why?” Daichi’s heart beat a little faster. He knew he only ever secured these invitations because of his friendship with Yamaguchi, but he was grateful nonetheless.

“Invite Tsukishima.”

Daichi wrinkled his nose. “Why would I spoil a perfectly nice night of drinking?”

“Well one, he’s probably better outside of a class setting. And two,” Suga smiled, a real one this time. “We can cheer him up.”

Daichi felt a smile of his own tugging at his lips. “Okay, fine. But only because now I’d feel bad if we didn’t.”

* * *

Tsukishima seemed surprisingly flattered when Daichi invited him for drinks, and hadn’t said much for the rest of the afternoon as they finished setting up the new algae solutions in the university lab.

As Daichi was leaving he turned to Tsukishima again. “Do you want me and Kiyoko to pick you up on our way?”

“Uh, yeah.” Tsukishima blinked at him a few times. “Thank you.”

“No problem, just text me your address.” Daichi waved as he left the lab.

He had started living with Kiyoko a year before, when she had asked his other housemate, Michimiya Yui, if she knew of anyone with an available room. For the most part Daichi liked living with two women. They were neat, they were good company, and both of them were very direct when something bothered them. However, sometimes Daichi wished he lived with people who were less perceptive.

“Why are you spending so much time getting ready?” Yui stood in Daichi’s doorway, watching him decide between two shirts.

Daichi pulled both to his chest. “Do you knock? Or are you trying to peep on me while I change?”

“What can I say, Sawamura, you’ve been keeping it tight,” Yui grinned. “And you should wear the grey shirt, it goes with those jeans.”

“Hm,” Daichi hummed in acknowledgement and shrugged the grey shirt over his bare shoulders. 

Yui leaned against the doorjamb and regarded Daichi. “So, why the extra effort?”

“Since when is choosing between two shirts extra effort?”

“It's an effort for you.”

“Rude,” Daichi remarked as he buttoned up his shirt.

“Just being honest,” Yui said. “Oh wait… are you dressing up for someone special?”

Daichi paused, “no.”

“You hesitated.”

“I did no such thing.”

Kiyoko appeared in the doorway next to Yui, clearly ready to leave.

“Are you almost ready?” she asked.

Daichi nodded, “yeah just one-”

“Shimizu,” Yui interrupted, “is that guy going to be there tonight?”

Kiyoko looked questioningly at Yui, who gestured towards Daichi and then waggled her eyebrows.

“Oh,” Kiyoko smiled, “yes.”

Daichi raised an eyebrow. “What guy? There’s no guy.”.

“The guy you’ve been pretending not to have feelings for,” Yui said.

“I don’t have feelings for Suga,” Daichi said.

“That’s funny, I don’t remember mentioning a name,” Yui grinned triumphantly.

Daichi felt his cheeks heat up. “Shut up.”

“Why don’t you just ask him out?” Yui asked. 

“I’m not going to ask him out because I don’t have feelings for him,” Daichi cast a plaintive look towards his other housemate. “Kiyoko, back me up here. Obviously I don’t like Suga.”

Kiyoko looked thoughtful. “Maybe a dinner date would be nice. Or coffee.”

“You too?” Daichi scowled. “Let’s go.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to come tonight?” Kiyoko turned to address Yui, who shook her head.

“Nah, I have a date with our couch and some delivery pizza.”

“How romantic,” Daichi offered.

Yui addressed Daichi, “what was that, Mister Repression?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Ask out that guy then.”

Daichi rolled his eyes, “bye, Yui.” 

She waved as he and Kiyoko walked to his car. Daichi let Kiyoko drive, and navigated them to Tsukishima’s apartment from the passenger seat. He lived in an apartment not too far from campus, and just a mile from where Kiyoko and Daichi lived. As they pulled in front of the building Daichi texted Tsukishima to let him know.

After a few moments of waiting, Daichi turned to Kiyoko. “You know I don’t actually like Sugawara, right?”

“Do _you_ know that?” She asked.

“What does that even mean?” Daichi asked, his voice rising. “I just don’t want you to say something tonight. Or just… I mean it wouldn’t even make sense for me to like him.”

Kiyoko gave Daichi a curious look, “make sense how?”

“Like I don’t even know if he thinks we’re friends,” Daichi mumbled. “And, like, I mean he’s just… like he’s not the kind of person you just…”

“Literally what are you talking about?” Kiyoko was looking at Daichi like he had grown another eye.

“He’s just so…” Daichi searched for the right words. “Well, he jokingly flirts with you and Yamaguchi all the time, and I just…” he trailed off.

“So you’re jealous he doesn’t jokingly flirt with you?”

“Not exactly.”

“You’re offended that he’s, what, bisexual? You know Yui and I are bisexual. Yamaguchi is bisexual.”

“Geez, Kiyoko,” Daichi gave her an alarmed look, “I don’t have anything against bisexuals. I just meant he's cool and it feels like we, you know, sort of live in different worlds.”

“So your issue is that you think he’s out of your league?”

“I don’t know!” Daichi exclaimed. 

Tsukishima chose that moment to knock on the car’s back window, and Daichi let out a sigh of relief. Kiyoko unlocked the back door and Tsukishima slid into the backseat.

“Thanks for the ride,” he said.

“Sure thing,” Daichi responded. “Do you mind if we listen to music?”

When Tsukishima shook his head no Daichi turned on the radio and turned his attention to finding a good station, which allowed him to ignore the questioning glances Kiyoko kept shooting his way.

They arrived at the bar fifteen minutes later, and when they began walking towards the door Kiyoko pulled on Daichi’s arm so Tsukishima was in the lead. 

“What?” Daichi whispered.

“I don’t care if you ask him out or not,” Kiyoko said. “But I don’t want the reason you’re not to be insecurity. You’re great, Daichi. No one is out of your league.” 

She patted his arm and followed Tsukishima before he could respond, which was lucky because Daichi’s throat suddenly felt a little tight.

When Daichi, Kiyoko, and Tsukishima entered the bar they found Suga and Yamaguchi already seated at a hightop table, a pitcher of beer in the middle. They took their seats, and Daichi found himself sandwiched between Kiyoko and Yamaguchi, with Suga almost directly across the round table. Suga grinned, but his expression dimmed as he took in Daichi’s.

“You okay?” he mouthed.

Daichi smiled back, “yeah, fine.” Suga was wearing a soft looking shirt in lavender, which made him almost glow in the artificial lighting of the bar. Daichi was suddenly glad he had picked his own outfit more carefully than he usually did.

The table settled into easy conversation. Daichi realized he shouldn’t have worried about Tsukishima joining them, as he was pretty quiet. He made the occasional comment and smiled at all the right moments, but he seemed a little disconnected. Apparently Daichi wasn’t the only one who noticed, because after grabbing a second pitcher of beer for the table Suga turned to address Tsukishima directly.

“You’re quiet tonight Tsukishima,” Suga said. “And after you had so much to say earlier today.”

One side of Tsukishima’s mouth lifted in a half smile, “sorry about that.”

“An apology? Now I’m genuinely concerned,” Suga refilled Tsukishima’s cup. “Be honest, is Tadashi bullying you? I know he can do that sometimes.”

Yamaguchi’s half-offended ‘hey!’ was cut off by a laugh from Tsukishima, “no, nothing like that,” he said. “Sorry if I’m not much fun tonight, I have this presentation on Thursday I keep thinking about.”

“Oh that sucks,” Suga sounded genuinely sympathetic, which struck Daichi as generous considering how rude Tsukishima had been earlier. “I always get so nervous talking in front of people.”

“Really?” Yamaguchi asked, “and yet you never stop talking.” Amidst laughter from the table Suga gasped and dramatically put a hand over his heart.

“I won’t lie, that one hurt Tadashi.”

“I’m sure you’ll find a way to forgive me,” Yamaguchi said.

Suga pursed his lips for a moment. “Yes I’m quite magnanimous that way. And handsome,” Suga wagged a finger in Yamaguchi’s face for emphasis. “Very very handsome.”

Daichi laughed into his beer. The alcohol was just starting to hit and he felt pleasantly light and warm. Privately, he agreed with Suga’s self-assessment, and he found himself mindlessly nodding along to the other man’s words.

Suga’s voice broke him out of his thoughts. “Did you just nod in agreement when I called myself handsome?”

Oh, fuck. “I’m trying to be supportive. I mean your friend just betrayed you.”

“Sawamura,” Suga reached a hand across the table and gripped Daichi’s wrist, his eyes huge. “You are the only one here I trust right now.”

Daichi was pretty sure he had forgotten how to breathe. “I’m honored,” he choked out. Suga laughed and removed his hand, his expression returning to normal. Daichi was not as quick to recover.

Yamaguchi was talking, “Kiyoko, didn’t you just have a bunch of grad student interviews? What did you do to not be nervous?” Wow, he was actually trying to help Tsukishima. Yamaguchi was too nice for his own good.

“I practiced a lot,” Kiyoko said, turning to Tsukishima. “And I made sure to wear outfits I felt really confident in.”

“Outfits?” Tsukishima gave her a questioning look.

“Okay, honestly?” Kiyoko colored slightly, “I wore very nice lingerie underneath my clothes for every interview. I swear it helped.”

Tsukishima’s eyebrows shot up and Suga wolf-whistled.

“You mean to tell me,” Yamaguchi’s expression was incredulous, “that you were talking to some fancy Cambridge professor while wearing, like, a corset or something?”

“Oh, well the Cambridge interview was a video interview,” Kiyoko said, “so since they just saw me from the chest up I wore garters and thigh highs for that one.”

“Oh my god,” Yamaguchi said, laughing, “I’ve never been more impressed.” Suga clapped appreciatively, and Daichi found himself laughing alongside them. He remembered Kiyoko’s grad school interviews, how nervous she had looked for them, and felt comforted that she could look back on them with humor.

“So, Tsukishima,” Kiyoko was smiling, “I would say in general finding a way to feel like you have a secret or something is a good idea. Obviously no need to don any lace, but just so you feel like you’re not giving away everything to your audience.”

“Ah,” Tsukishima nodded, “thank you. Though it’s bold of you to assume I’m not wearing something lacy tonight.” 

The entire table froze as they processed what Tsukishima had said, before everyone cracked up. Suga gave Tsukishima a cheerful slap on the back, which dislodged his glasses somewhat.

“You know what, Tsukishima,” Suga said between laughs, “I hope you’re telling the truth.”

Tsukishima deadpanned, “well I was a little nervous to come hang out with such a distinguished group of scientists.”

“Me too, Tsukishima,” Suga nodded conspiratorially, “me too.”

“And what did you wear to alleviate this stress?” Tsukishima asked. Suga smiled widely before answering.

“A cock ring.”

It was as if the table had exploded. Yamaguchi screeched, and Kiyoko clasped her hands in front of her mouth, her shoulders shaking. For his part, Daichi found his mouth a little too dry for laughter, so he opted for stunned silence and tried desperately to banish the image that Suga had just introduced. Daichi didn’t consider himself a particularly kinky person, but he would be lying if the image Suga’s words conjured wasn’t hot. Very, very hot.

“I’m honestly not sure if you’re serious,” Yamaguchi was saying, his eyes still sparkling with laughter.

Suga gave a sly smile, before it gave way to his normal one. “Kidding!” he said, “I am wearing your nice underwear though, Tadashi.” He snapped the elastic waistband against his hip, and Daichi tried not to focus on the pale strip of skin the movement revealed.

“I fucking knew it!” Yamaguchi said. He shook his head, though his smile was still intact. “I knew I left those when I crashed last month. You lied to me.”

“They’re just so soft,” Suga shrugged one shoulder, “plus it’s not like you need them.”

“Hey!” Yamaguchi blushed, “how would you know that?”

“You want to know how I know that?” Suga challenged, “it’s because you are so goddamn dense. Even if you had the chance to put these underwear to use, it would just go right over your head.”

“What, no I’m not!” Yamaguchi looked affronted. “Am I dense?” He looked around the table. Kiyoko gave an apologetic shrug, and Daichi just pressed his lips together and avoided eye contact. The alcohol had made Tsukishima bright red, and he looked down and at the table and didn’t answer.

“Guys-” Yamaguchi pleaded.

“I heard all about your poor medical student,” Suga continued. “He hung around for what, four months? And you never even noticed he was flirting with you.”

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes, “okay, no. Terushima was there for his own research.”

“His project ended after a month,” Kiyoko offered.

“But no,” Yamaguchi was floundering. It was funny, even if Daichi did feel sort of bad for the guy. “No, I swear that’s not how it happened. I would know, right? How could I not have known?” He looked helplessly around the table. 

Kiyoko gave him a sympathetic smile, “well at least you didn’t break his heart on purpose.” 

“I broke his heart?” Yamaguchi seemed close to tears. “I didn’t break his heart. I’ve never broken anyone’s heart!” 

“No?” Daichi asked, “That doesn’t sound right. We should get an unbiased opinion. Tsukishima-” 

“Yes?” Tsukishima turned to Daichi, his face now closer to a pink than the red it had been before. That kid should drink a glass of water. 

“What do you think?” Daichi asked.

“Well,” Tsukishima paused, appearing to weigh his words. “When considering the evidence, it does seem likely that you broke this young man’s heart. Hopefully it will not impact his ability to heal others in the future.” The table erupted in laughter, which Yamaguchi joined good-naturedly after a moment.

“Considering the evidence, huh?” Yamaguchi grinned, “since when do you follow the scientific method so carefully?”

Tsukishima cocked an eyebrow, “what can I say? I was given an excellent example.”

“Why thank you,” Yamaguchi said, “I’m flattered.”

Tsukishima took a sip of his drink, “I was talking about Daichi.” Once again the table shook with laughter. Daichi had to admit the kid was growing on him.

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes good-naturedly, “shut up, Tsukishima.” 

Tsukishima just smiled in response, his expression a little smug and his cheeks glowing from the beer. 

Daichi was impressed, he was pretty sure if he had been the one to tell Tsukishima to shut up it would not have been so well received. But Yamaguchi and Tsukishima did work together a lot of the time, maybe they were close. It was kind of a funny thought, someone as kind as Yamaguchi befriending someone as prickly as Tsukishima. Daichi was pulled from his slightly tipsy musings by the weight of Kiyoko’s shoulder pressing into his. Upon closer inspection she looked just shy of drunk, her cheeks pink and eyes a little glassy. She swayed slightly against his shoulder, but her voice was steady when she spoke.

“Suga,” she said. “Suga, I want you to tell me about that guy you work with.” Daichi felt more than he saw the entire table turn towards her.

“What guy?” Suga asked.

“The guy with the shaved head,” Kiyoko gestured to her own head. “Tanaka-san.”

Suga’s mouth dropped open. “You want to know about Ryuu?”

“Yeah,” Kiyoko smiled, “yeah he gave me a plant.”

“He gave you a plant?” Daichi asked. He watched Kiyoko’s expression, now convinced that her blush wasn’t completely from the alcohol. 

She nodded, “yeah I ran into him again two weeks ago and he was dropping off this weird type of algae. I told him it was pretty and he went and got me a plant from his truck. It’s been doing really well so I wanted to thank him. He keeps avoiding me though.”

“That’s where that plant came from?” Daichi asked. Two weeks ago a little fern had appeared in their kitchen window, and Daichi had just assumed one of his roommates had bought it. The fern was flourishing in their apartment, with delicate new sections already unfurling from its damp soil.

“Yeah,” Kiyoko smiled again and turned to Suga. “So why’s he avoiding me?”

“Uh,” Suga cleared his throat and shot a curious look to Daichi, who just shrugged in response. “He’s probably a little intimidated, if I had to guess.”

“Intimidated?” Kiyoko looked thoughtful.

“Yeah,” Suga was clearly amused. “He’s usually kind of a loud guy, so if he’s not like that around you maybe he’s nervous.”

Kiyoko nodded in understanding, “can you tell him thank you from me then?”

“Sure,” Suga said, “any particular reason you’re so interested?”

Kiyoko’s blush intensified. “He’s cute,” she said into her beer. 

“Cute?” Suga laughed in surprise. “I mean… I guess. I do feel like I should inform you that he’s where I get most of my weed. He doesn’t sell it, he's just good friends with someone who does.”

“Sounds perfect for you, Kiyoko,” Daichi joked. Kiyoko shot him a dirty look.

“Ryuu’s a good guy though,” Yamaguchi piped up from beside Daichi. “He’s only 21 and he practically runs the landscaping business where he works. Plus, Suga’s the one buying all the weed and we still keep him around.”

“Watch your tone, bio-boy,” Suga said. “But Tadashi’s right, he’s cool.”

“Hm,” Kiyoko nodded.

Daichi raised an eyebrow but didn’t comment further. He couldn’t really picture Kiyoko interested in someone like Tanaka Ryuunosuke, but he also didn’t feel like he was in a particularly good position to judge. It’s not as though Daichi had been making particularly impressive decisions in his own love life as of late. The thought made him glance towards Suga, who was trading halfhearted barbs with Yamaguchi, a teasing smile on his face. He caught Daichi’s stare and his smile softened slightly, his eyes warm. Daichi returned it and then looked back at the table, his cheeks feeling warm in a way that he elected to blame on the alcohol. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter is just a lot of dialogue, but it was fun to write so I hope it's fun to read! (Yamaguchi and Suga's friendship may or may not be loosely based on my relationship with my best friend...) Next chapter will be more character development and the plot should move forward a little more! 
> 
> Anyway take care and thanks for reading :)


	5. June 21st

In retrospect, Ukai felt that he should have known things had been going too well. He had gotten lazy, gotten comfortable. The kind of comfortable which lets you be on autopilot, the kind of comfortable which lets you do things without double checking measurements or rereading instructions. The kind of comfortable which led Ukai to shove the turtle’s usual antiinflammatory medication into a piece of fish and feed it to her without double checking the dosage on the clipboard hanging on her tank. He knew how much she got every morning, he didn’t need to read it. 

He didn’t see the note until after the turtle was done eating. It was scribbled just below the dosage tracking for the night before, when one of the part-time researchers had done the evening rounds and locked everything up.

_ Stiff movements and signs of pain, admin. ½ dose at 10:15. Delay morning meds. _

It was 8:07 a.m. It was 8:07 and Ukai had just given a highly unstable turtle 50% more antiinflammatory medication than she needed. He dropped the clipboard and was running towards Saeko’s office before it hit the floor. Nausea rose in his stomach and his feet pounded across the walkway towards the research building. Stupid. He was so stupid. 

Saeko let Ukai stay in the turtle’s room as she checked vitals, but after five minutes of pacing and constant questions she told him to go wait outside. He couldn’t blame her.

8:41 found Ukai sitting on the dock, staring blankly at the cinder block exterior of the rescue center and chain smoking. He had just ground out the glowing tip of his first cigarette and taken a long draw from his second when the back door to the center creaked open. Ukai straightened up, questions pushing themselves against his teeth, only to be met with the figure of Takeda instead of Saeko. There was a wrinkle of worry between the professor’s eyebrows, and his mouth was set in a hard, tense line. Of course the professor would be here to witness Ukai’s failure.

Takeda raised a hand in greeting, the movement almost hesitant as he made his way over. Ukai felt shame heat his body, and irritation pricked at the backs of his eyes. He set his jaw and glared as Takeda approached, the professor’s steps faltering as he met Ukai’s eyes.

“Are you alright, Ukai-san?” 

“What?” Ukai spat. What a useless question. Of course Ukai was okay, he wasn’t the one in renal failure because some useless fucking idiot didn’t bother to check a medical chart. 

Takeda flinched a little at Ukai’s tone, but still took another step forward. “You’re shaking. Are you alright?”

He was right, Ukai was shaking. His teeth were practically chattering. He took a deep draw from his cigarette, fingers unsteady against his mouth.

“Have you seen her?” Ukai asked instead of answering.

“Just for a moment. Saeko was with her, and she said you were out here.”

“So you’re what, the babysitter? To make sure I don’t kill anything else?” The words felt sharp and ugly in Ukai’s mouth, but they rolled past his lips before he could stop them and hung with his cigarette smoke in the bright morning air.

“You didn’t kill anyone,” Takeda said.

Ukai’s mouth stretched into a humorless smile. “Not yet. Only a matter of time though, don’t you think, Sensei?” 

He raked his fingers through his hair, feeling where the bleach had made it dry and brittle. Fingers still clenched at the top of his head, Ukai dropped his shoulders forward, his elbows resting just above his knees. Through his forearms Ukai watched Takeda take another step towards him. Go away go away go away.

“I don’t think that,” Takeda said. “I don’t think that at all.”

“No?” Ukai dug his fingernails into his scalp slightly. “And here I thought you were a smart guy. Some lowlife fuck-up is the recipient of what was supposed to be a very low-stakes bit of nepotism and what does he do with it? Manages to fuck that part up too. What the hell was anyone doing letting me be responsible for another life?”

“You shouldn’t talk about yourself that way,” Takeda’s voice trembled slightly.

Ukai dropped his hands back to his lap and looked up, his eyes narrowed. “Why shouldn’t I? There’s a turtle in there fighting for her life because of me. Until an hour ago she had a good chance of recovery, and I shut down her kidneys because I couldn’t bother to read a fucking chart.”

“It was an honest mistake. It could have happened to anyone-”

“But it didn’t, did it?” Ukai was breathing hard, every inhale sharp in his chest. He sucked again at the cigarette, but it didn’t help. “It happened to me,” his voice broke a little on the last word. He should have known this would happen. 

At least when he had fucked up before it didn’t have a body count. His cigarette was only halfway gone, but Ukai stubbed it out on the dock beside him. It wasn’t helping. 

Takeda was still standing in front of him, for some reason. His hands clenched by his sides, his face all soft worry and big eyes, looking far too lovely and put together to be fussing over someone like Ukai. Maybe it was just pity. Or fascination. But instead of an algae colony it was a 27-year-old college dropout who was absolutely fucking losing it because he poisoned a turtle. Yeah, he probably made quite the specimen. 

“Ukai-san,” Takeda was talking again, his voice low. “You can’t keep beating yourself up over this. These things happen. Saeko’s with the turtle right now, and she’s going to do everything she can.”

“To clean up my mess, you mean.” Ukai couldn’t make himself meet the other man’s eyes, but he watched his feet as they walked to the right of Ukai before turning and settling next to him on the dock.

“We all need people to help us sometimes.”

“No offense, Sensei, but this is not particularly compelling coming from someone like you.”

Takeda gave a small smile. “Sort of an odd point in the conversation to slip in a ‘no offense’.”

Ukai was startled into a laugh, and it felt like all the anger left his system at once. He was left feeling tired and sad, like every muscle in his body had been clenched since he had first run to find Saeko. 

“Fair point,” he responded. “I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay,” Takeda shrugged. “I know you’re just worried. I really do think she’s going to be okay, though.”

Ukai glanced sideways at Takeda. “You think so?”

“I do. Saeko didn’t seem frantic or anything when I went in there.”

“So why-” Ukai looked down, “why did you come out here? If it wasn’t to babysit me while Tanaka-san deals with a dying turtle.”

“She told me to check on you, to make sure you weren’t blaming yourself. I don’t think I did a good job though.”

Ukai bit back a smile. “You’re doing alright.”

“Do you really think all those things about yourself? The ones you said before.”

“Yeah, sometimes.” 

His stomach clenched. God, he really had just run his mouth for a minute there. Humiliation crept up Ukai’s spine and he screwed his eyes shut.

“I’m sorry,” Takeda said. 

The words surprised Ukai, and he opened his eyes and turned to make sure he hadn’t misheard. 

“Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything.”

“I’m sorry you feel that way about yourself. I can’t know exactly what you’re going through, but…” Takeda paused for a moment, his expression unreadable. “I understand what it’s like to not feel good enough, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”

Ukai’s eyebrows shot towards his hairline. “Why would you feel that way? You’re a university professor.”

Takeda laughed, a hollow sound in the still air. “It’s not a particularly glamorous job or anything.” He paused for a moment before elaborating. “I’m an adjunct, and it doesn’t seem like my department wants to give me tenure. Maybe they never will. And I don’t know if I’m just not a good enough teacher, or if it’s because they don’t want to waste that kind of money on a-” he stopped talking suddenly, his mouth a tight line.

“On a what?” Ukai asked. 

Takeda’s expression smoothed out, and he smiled apologetically. “Nothing, I misspoke. I just meant I don’t know if my research is the kind they want to support. I know academia sort of prides itself on seeming like it defines success and intelligence, but that’s not really how it works.”

“Oh,” Ukai said. He chewed on his next words. “I didn’t finish university. I don’t know if you knew that.”

“I didn’t,” Takeda said. He looked at Ukai expectantly, who took a deep breath before speaking again.

“I only lasted three semesters,” Ukai continued. “So what you said about it defining intelligence… I guess it has always looked like that to me. I’ve never really been all that good at studying.”

“I see,” Takeda nodded. “You know, as someone who has spent practically all my life in some kind of school I feel uniquely qualified to say that it’s not a perfect system. It’s not even a good system. I don’t know why we’re always lying about that.”

“But you’ve stayed for so long.”

Takeda shrugged, “it’s all I’m good at. I love to teach and I love to learn, and I do those things best at a university. But I don’t for a second believe that a university is the only place where those things can happen, or even that it’s the ideal place for them to happen. It’s just what works for me.”

“You don’t sound all that happy about working there.”

“I guess I don’t,” Takeda gave a tired smile. “I love what I do, mostly I just wish I did it for a university that wanted me.”

Ukai nodded, though he had a hard time imagining the university not wanting Takeda as a professor. Even through their few brief interactions Ukai could tell how much he cared about his work and his students. What employer wouldn’t value that?

“I’m sorry,” Takeda apologized again, coloring slightly. “I didn’t mean to get off topic and complain. My main point was that the things you said, about not being good enough, I don’t think they’re true. I don’t think this one mistake defines you and the work you do here. And what you said about not finishing college - I don’t think that means anything about what you’re capable of. You care a lot about the animals, and you’re good at what you do. Don’t be so hard on yourself.” 

Ukai glanced sideways at Takeda. The professor was looking straight ahead, and the morning sun caught on his profile and poured around the turned-up nose and dark curls. His shoulders curled forward, and his fingers gripped the worn wooden planks of the dock. 

“Thanks, Sensei.”

“You don’t have to call me that, you know.” Takeda swung his feet, fingers drumming lightly. “Saeko only does because she thinks it’s funny, and Suga has a little bit of a thing about grad school. But it’s not, like, a title or anything.”

Ukai swallowed. “Then, thank you, Takeda-san.”

“You’re welcome,” Takeda said. “Do you mind if I sit here until Saeko is finished?”

Irritation flared again beneath Ukai’s ribs, “I don’t need a babysitter-”

“I’m worried about her too.” Takeda turned and met Ukai’s glare, his eyes determined. 

“Oh.” Ukai turned and looked back towards the center. “Then yes, stay.”

“Thank you.” 

Takeda leaned back, his chin tipping up and his eyes on the sky stretching blue and cloudless above them. This movement exposed a pale expanse of throat, and Ukai let his eyes follow the soft line of it to a soft collar and loosened tie, where Ukai dropped his eyes to his own hands, hanging between his knees. 

They sat like that as the sun stretched over their shoulders and the shadow of the rescue center shortened. Every so often they spoke, voices soft and easy across the air between them, but mostly the two men settled into an easy silence. It wasn’t awkward, or heavy with the absence of conversation, but instead felt as natural as breathing. Ukai felt settled next to Takeda in a way he hadn’t since moving. The professor didn’t expect anything from him, instead he was content to just sit and act as a levee against the flood of Ukai’s worry. 

A few minutes after 9:00 Saeko appeared, and Ukai felt his body grow cold as she approached.

She stood in front of him, her hands tucked into her back pockets and elbows pointed out. “The turtle will be just fine.”

Relief punched through Ukai, and he sagged forward. “Thank you.”

“I’m going to have to talk to the researcher who gave her that dosage. I don’t like medication schedules being switched around so carelessly, it can interfere with recovery.”

“No, I was the careless one,” Ukai shook his head. “Tanaka-san I’m so sorry-”

“Stop stressing,” she interrupted, her tone leaving no room for argument. “It just as easily could have been me who made that mistake. Now pull it together and go take care of everyone else.”

“Thank you, Tanaka-san,” Ukai whispered.

Saeko nodded and turned to Takeda, “sorry about the wait, Sensei. Do you have time to run those reactions with me or do you have to head out?”

“I have about forty minutes,” Takeda said. He checked his watch, “maybe closer to thirty.”

“I can work with that,” Saeko motioned for Takeda to follow her and he dropped down from the dock, his shoes crunching on the gravel.

After a few steps he looked back over his shoulder and raised a hand to wave to Ukai. “Have a nice day, Ukai-san.”

“You too.” Ukai watched them walk away, and it wasn’t until they had rounded the corner that he finally gave voice to the words which felt pressed to the roof of his mouth.

“Thank you, Takeda-san.” 

They hung unheard in the still air.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On second thought I will be adding that light angst tag. 
> 
> Also I just want to be clear that the things Ukai says about college/not finishing college do not at all reflect how I think about those things! It's just a depiction of his insecurities as a character (I hope that's clear... please let me know if it's not!). The system of higher education in many countries (but especially in the U.S. where I live) is incredibly flawed and really just rewards a specific way of learning and measures one type of intelligence. This chapter is trying to explore how these structures are imperfect and can cause harm in multiple ways.
> 
> Anyway I hope everyone has a nice week! Thanks for reading and take care :*


	6. July 9th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! There’s a minor injury described in the first part of this chapter. Nothing super graphic and only a little blood, but just thought I would drop a warning so you can be prepared!

Takeda tried not to accompany the undergraduates every time they went to Karasuno. He was there often enough to work with Saeko, and he liked to let his students be independent when they could. It was his belief that students were more creative and inquisitive when they didn’t have a professor watching over their shoulder or checking their work. He trusted Yamaguchi to get the samples they needed for their work, and if anything else happened to come up while his students were at Karasuno Takeda considered it a bonus. Ideally, he only wanted to accompany his research assistants to Karasuno once a month, but it was looking like this month it might be more like two or three. 

There was nothing wrong with the work being done, but his department requested such meticulous notes on the research practices that Takeda often had no choice but to tag along to the center and write down everything they had done. After a particularly grueling three-hour meeting the week before, Takeda decided that for at least the second and third weeks in July he would need to carefully document everything he and his students did. This led him to driving all four of his research assistants in his car, the three undergraduates squished together in the back while Yamaguchi sat in the passenger seat.

As the youngest, Tsukishima had been forced to sit in the middle, which he clearly resented.

“I have the longest legs, I should be on the side,” he grumbled.

“But you’re the thinnest,” Daichi countered.

“Yeah but you have short legs,” Tsukishima said, continuing despite the noise of protest Daichi made. “Probably even shorter that Kiyoko’s, so why aren’t you in the middle?”

“I’m not short!” Daichi protested, “just because you’re built like a piece of asparagus-”

“Let’s not call anyone names,” Yamaguchi said from the passenger seat. Takeda bit back a smile at this exchange. Sometimes he forgot that despite how competent his research assistants were, they were still very young.

Daichi had leaned forward and was arguing with Yamaguchi. “How can you defend him? He called me short, that’s definitely name calling.”

“I was describing you,” Tsukishima said, his voice bored.

Kiyoko took this opportunity to chime in, “Daichi can’t sit in the middle seat because his hips and thighs are wider than yours, Tsukishima.”

“Are you calling me fat?” Daichi asked, head whipping around to address Kiyoko.

“No,” she laughed, “I’m saying that you have a nice ass-”

“Okay!” Takeda interrupted from the driver's seat, his voice artificially cheerful. “Point taken, next time we’ll take two cars.”

“Sorry Sensei,” three voices intoned from the backseat.

Takeda smiled and shook his head, turning up the radio. Under the music he could hear Tsukishima mutter to Kiyoko.

“Are you saying I don’t have a nice ass?”

“Tsukishima,” Kiyoko whispered back, “do  _ you _ think you have a nice ass?”

“Enough!” Yamaguchi said from the passenger seat, prompting another series of apologies from the backseat. Takeda glanced over at Yamaguchi and, finding him holding in a laugh, tossed the graduate student a grin before bringing his eyes back to the road.

They arrived without further incident, and as soon as he had parked the undergraduates tumbled out of the backseat and made their way towards the rescue to begin taking samples. Takeda walked to the research center and tried the door, but it was locked. Strange. Maybe Saeko had been working on something that morning and hadn’t opened up yet. He walked towards the rescue to find her, but before he made it to the door a sound came from behind the building. 

He walked around towards the sound and found a large machine with a crane set up next to the dock. What Takeda had originally taken for a garage door had been rolled up to reveal the dolphin tank. He recognized a few of the part-time researchers working on the crane, and the familiar sound of Saeko’s voice drew his eyes to the pool where she was waist-deep in water and directing the crew of researchers to set up slings to hold the dolphins next to her. As she was clearly busy, Takeda took a few steps back and resolved to help take samples until she could unlock the research building. Apparently he wasn’t quick enough, as she saw him and waved him over.

“Sensei!” Saeko shouted. “Come say goodbye to the dolphins.”

Takeda walked over and stood a few feet back from the pool. “They’re ready to go back?”

“Yeah,” Saeko said, “mom’s all healed up, and the little one is looking stronger every day.”

“Wow, that’s good news.” Takeda moved closer and kneeled by the pool.

“I’ll miss ‘em,” Saeko continued, “but it’s good. I’m glad they recovered so well, I wasn’t always sure we would get here.” 

Takeda nodded but didn’t respond. He remembered when the mother dolphin had come in, injured and in premature labor. Saeko had barely slept for a week trying to keep the two alive. Then, just when it seemed like they were out of the woods the baby had gone into sepsis, leading to the most stressful 48-hours Takeda could remember. But now, months later, both mother and baby looked strong and healthy. He couldn’t imagine releasing them to the brutality and wildness of the ocean, but of course that’s where they belonged. Saeko spoke again, interrupting Takeda’s train of thought.

“Was there something you needed, Sensei? Or did you actually come to say goodbye.”

“Oh, there’s no rush,” Takeda said quickly. “I just wanted to get into the research building. But of course it can wait.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t unlock it. My keys should be somewhere… Ukai!” Saeko called across the pool. 

Takeda turned to follow the direction of her voice, and immediately wished he hadn’t. Because of the contrast between the bright summer morning and the relative darkness of the pool area Takeda hadn’t made out much of what was going on in the rest of the room, but now his eyes had adjusted and he could see Ukai stand up from where he was working and walk over. Like Saeko, Ukai was wearing a full wetsuit. A very tight wetsuit. Takeda desperately wished he had decided to take samples with the undergraduates. By this point Takeda should have been used to Ukai and what he looked like. They saw one another at least once a week, and were friendly. Well, pretty friendly. Friendly enough for Takeda to be used to his face. And body. It was just that Takeda was never sure how friendly he should be with someone like Ukai. After the incident with the turtle’s medication a few weeks before it had become easier to talk with him but… Takeda was still hesitant around him. Probably a good thing, if the wetsuit elicited this sort of reaction.

The dark material of the suit let Takeda trace Ukai’s shoulders to his broad chest, down to the dip of his waist. Though he was still crouching, Takeda didn’t let his eyes drift any lower, and instead turned back to Saeko, his mouth feeling dry.

“What’s goin’ on?” Ukai asked Saeko, then gave Takeda a slight nod. “Morning, Takeda-san.” 

Takeda gave a small wave back, but was saved from having to formulate a greeting by Saeko speaking again.

“Do you know where the keys to the research center are? They should be in my bag somewhere.”

“Yeah, I put your bag outside of that door so it wouldn’t get wet,” Ukai jerked his head to indicate the door which led to the rest of the rescue center. “You need them now?”

“Sensei does,” Saeko said.

“Oh, right,” Ukai turned to regard Takeda more fully, which the professor was not at all appreciative of. “I’ll grab them for you, just follow me.”

Takeda nodded jerkily and stood up, looking everywhere but at Ukai. He followed him past the pool and into the hallway, where the younger man crouched to search through Saeko’s bag. He grabbed the keys and stood before turning and holding them out to Takeda.

“Thank you,” Takeda said, taking the keys. Now that he was facing Ukai he found it harder to look away from the lines of his shoulders, and how the material stretched around the muscles in his arms. He looked good. Very good. Takeda clenched the keys in his hand tightly, the metal teeth biting into his palm, and forced himself to make eye contact. He kept his gaze even and willed his smile to look casual.

“Best of luck with the dolphins,” he said.

“Thanks,” Ukai replied. “Good luck with, uh, your algae?” his voice went up in a question.

Takeda laughed, “thank you, though I don’t anticipate many challenges.” He smiled before turning and walking towards the research building. 

Once he had turned a corner he picked his pace up and made his way quickly towards the research building. He told himself that he wasn’t fleeing from Ukai. He was a professional, and professionals don’t run away from hot men in wetsuits. They do, however, occasionally power walk away from them. Takeda figured this much was understandable.

The materials he needed were exactly where he expected them to be, and Takeda was able to settle into work quickly. About an hour into notetaking Yamaguchi called him to answer a few questions about sample sizes, which took about fifteen minutes to fully sort out. Another hour passed and Takeda felt pretty good about the precision of his notes. Even though the program had been extended for another two years he still felt so scrutinized by his department. A more optimistic person would have thought he was being evaluated for a promotion, but Takeda felt more like he was being hunted. One trip up, one small mistake, and his department head would strike. Even after years of fruitful research and positive student reviews Takeda felt perpetually on thin ice. So he liked to be prepared, hence the meticulously detailed notes. Once he was confident that he was prepared for the next interrogation from the department head Takeda left the office to join his research assistants. 

Only a few meters from the exit Takeda was stopped in his tracks. Ukai sat on the floor next to the propped-open door of a supply closet, contents of a first-aid kit littering the ground beside him. The part of the scene which had rendered Takeda incapable of forward motion was Ukai’s state of dress, or undress, as it were. Ukai had rolled the top of his wetsuit down to his waist and was treating a large scrape on his shoulder. Though, as Takeda observed, treating seemed to be a generous term for what Ukai was doing. He gingerly dabbed at his shoulder with antiseptic, wincing every time the wipe made even slight contact with his skin. After a few halfhearted swipes Ukai reached for a large bandage and peeled off the backing, which finally prompted Takeda to make his presence known.

“Stop!” he rushed forward and halted when he was only a few steps away. Ukai turned to him in surprise.

“Takeda-san?” he asked. “What do you mean, stop?”

Takeda swallowed thickly, and wondered if he could will himself to sink into the floor. Well, he couldn’t very well back out now, could he?

“I mean you shouldn’t put that bandage on now, you didn’t clean the wound properly.”

“I just sanitized it, though,” Ukai said. His voice had a petulant edge to it that was almost cute, but Takeda ignored that thought in favor of schooling his features into an approximation of professionalism.

“You mean what you did just before this? When I came down the steps? That was not sanitizing it.”

Ukai looked embarrassed, and his hands fidgeted around the bandage. “I wiped it.”

“Did you get that while you were in the pool with the dolphins?” Takeda asked. 

He walked two steps closer to Ukai and then stopped again. He should just leave. He should just walk out of that door and let Ukai deal with his own scrapes. He should rejoin the research assistants outside and let the bright sun burn away the image of Ukai’s collar bones, burn away the memory of the drip of water which fell from the smattering of hair on his chest and snaked down his stomach towards the trail of dark hair just visible above where Ukai’s wetsuit was folded down.

“Yeah,” Ukai was talking again. “The little one was making a lot of noise so the mom just went crazy and thrashed everywhere. I mean I get it, that’s her kid. Still hurt like a bitch, though.” Ukai’s hand flew to his mouth after he realized what he said. “Sorry! Didn’t mean to curse.”

Takeda smiled. “It’s okay, I’ve heard much worse. But if you got that while you were in the water you should really make sure to wash it well. Otherwise you can get an infection.”

“Oh, right,” Ukai put the bandage down and looked at the remaining antiseptic wipes skeptically. “Will these work?”

“I mean they’re not terrible,” Takeda said. “I could…” Oh god, he was about to make a terrible decision, wasn’t he? “I could help, if you wanted.” Yep, terrible decision.

“Yeah?” Ukai turned to him, eyes big. “That would be great, actually.”

“Sure. Grab the first aid kit and come with me.” Takeda turned on his heel and walked towards the first floor bathroom, pausing briefly to make sure Ukai was following. This was a horrible decision. A truly calamitous choice. A disastrous situation which was perfectly avoidable, if Takeda had just kept his mouth shut. They entered the bathroom, and Takeda pointed to the counter next to the sink.

“Sit there,” he said. Ukai gave him a questioning look but sat on the counter without any argument, setting the first aid kit down beside him.

Takeda wet a paper towel and held it for a moment, assessing the scrape on Ukai’s shoulder. It stretched from his deltoid to just below his clavicle, and oozed pinpricks of blood in several spaces. In the most professional way he could, Takeda spread the damp paper towel over the length of the injury. Ukai winced slightly, but didn’t withdraw from Takeda’s touch. As gently as he could, Takeda drew the paper towel across the scrape. It came away slightly pink from where Ukai was still bleeding. 

Takeda stuck his hand beneath the soap dispenser, and came away with blue antibacterial soap dripping across his fingers. 

“This might hurt a little,” Takeda said. 

Ukai raised an eyebrow but nodded. Takeda wondered for a moment how to do this in a way which would communicate, above all else,  _ I am not trying to sleep with you _ . After a few agonizing seconds he concluded that in order to effectively sterilize this wound he would probably have to deal with at least a little homoeroticism. Well, he’d made it this far. He smeared the soap over Ukai’s skin and tried to ignore his slight hiss of pain.

“Sorry,” Takeda said. He lathered the soap into damp skin and did his best not to notice how warm Ukai felt under his fingers.

“It’s fine,” Ukai gritted out.

“She really got you,” Takeda remarked. He turned the sink on and cupped his hand underneath the warm stream of water before dripping it over Ukai’s shoulder, washing away the suds clinging there.

“Yeah,” Ukai said. “I think she was really afraid, apparently she hadn’t been separated from her daughter since she was born.”

Takeda nodded and began dabbing the scrape with another wet paper towel, ensuring that all of the soap was gone.

“They looked happy when they finally got into the water, though,” Ukai remarked. “Swam off together and everything.”

“Good,” Takeda said, tearing open an antiseptic wipe. “Was it hard to watch them go?”

Ukai looked thoughtful, “maybe a little. Mostly it just seems so dangerous out there. In the ocean.”

Takeda nodded, then carefully drew the wipe over the cleaned scrape. Ukai hissed, his nostrils flaring, and grabbed Takeda’s wrist to stop him.

“Warn a guy next time,” he said, his eyes bright with pain and surprise.

Takeda inhaled sharply. “Sorry.” Ukai’s hand was hot, and his eyes were closer than Takeda expected. He looked back at Ukai for several long seconds, his heart thudding so loud he was surprised it didn’t echo off of the walls of the bathroom. 

Ukai looked away first. “It’s fine, I was just surprised.”

“I’ll be done soon,” Takeda said. Ukai’s hand still grasped his wrist, and Takeda was struck by the thought that his racing pulse was probably beating against the other man’s fingertips.

“Okay,” Ukai breathed. He loosened his hand, and Takeda finished wiping the antiseptic solution over his injury. Ukai winced, but didn’t protest further.

“We should let it dry for a moment, before antibiotic ointment and a bandage,” Takeda said. 

Ukai exhaled shakily, “Right. Thank you.”

“Of course,” Takeda replied. He dropped his hands to his sides. “How’s your turtle?”

“She’s not my turtle.”

“Right, of course not,” Takeda gave Ukai a small smile, “but, how’s your turtle?”

Ukai let out a short laugh, more an exhale than anything else. “Maybe a little better. Mostly she’s stable for now, which is good.”

“That is good,” Takeda said. “Do you know when she… I mean, is there a timeline for her recovery?”

Ukai shook his head, “not really. We’ve only just been able to cut back on the pain medication, but she’s still on a lot of antibiotics.”

“Hm,” Takeda hummed in understanding.

“I’m hoping she’ll be doing much better in a month,” Ukai offered.

“Why a month?”

“Well,” Ukai colored slightly, “it sounds a little childish but her eggs are supposed to hatch in early August and I just…” he trailed off.

“You wanted her to be able to be there for them?” Takeda supplied. The blush grew on Ukai’s face, and something that felt suspiciously like affection grew in Takeda’s stomach. God, this man.

“Okay it sounds dumb when you say it out loud,” Ukai’s tone was defensive. “I know they don’t actually meet up or anything. I just liked the idea that they would, you know, be there together.” He wouldn’t meet Takeda’s eyes, which was just as well because Takeda was almost positive that the tenderness he was feeling was written all over his face.

“It doesn’t sound dumb,” he murmured. “I like the idea of her waiting for them as well. Makes it seem a little less scary.”

“Yeah,” Ukai’s eyebrows came together in concern. “I mean if she dies, they won’t even know. They’ll be so small and they won’t know their mother is gone…” he trailed off again, his eyes sad. 

Without thinking Takeda grasped Ukai’s uninjured shoulder, wanting to erase the hollow expression from his face. Ukai looked up, face open and vulnerable.

“She’ll make it,” Takeda assured him.

“How do you know?” Ukai asked. 

“I don’t,” Takeda admitted, “but I know she’s got good people in her corner, so I figure she’s got a good shot.”

Ukai smiled and searched Takeda’s face before meeting his eyes. Takeda could practically hear his own heartbeat, and he swallowed thickly as he returned Ukai’s gaze. They were close, closer than Takeda remembered being. After cleaning his scrape he was practically between Ukai’s legs, hands hanging just centimeters from his wetsuit-clad knees. Ukai’s eyes drifted down for a moment, then back to Takeda’s. His smile changed slightly, becoming more hesitant, and his eyes filled with a question Takeda couldn’t discern. 

Ukai’s eyes were so close. “Takeda-”

“Your shoulder is dry enough to apply the bandage,” Takeda interrupted. Something like fear was prying its way through his ribs, and every breath ached in a way he couldn’t account for.

“Oh,” Ukai said, his eyes dropping down to his injury. “Sure, okay.”

Takeda prepared the bandage in silence, spreading a thin layer of antibiotic ointment on the cotton pad before smoothing it over the worst of the scrape. He held the corners of the bandage to help them adhere, but tried to make sure his fingertips didn’t accidentally brush over Ukai’s skin.

“Leave this on for as long as possible,” he said, “as then reapply some ointment when you take it off.”

“Right.” Ukai seemed to hesitate for a moment before grabbing Takeda’s wrist again, the motion forcing his palm flat against the warmth of Ukai’s chest. Takeda gulped, his eyes on where his hand rested.

“Thank you, Takeda-san,” Ukai said. He released Takeda’s wrist.

“You’re welcome,” Takeda whispered, withdrawing his hand and holding it stiffly by his side. “I, uh, I should go help my students. Are you-”

“I can clean up here,” Ukai said. 

Takeda could feel the other man’s eyes on him even as his own darted towards the door.

“Okay, thanks. I’ll, uh, I’ll just…” Takeda retreated towards the door and pulled it open. Halfway through he turned back to Ukai, who was still sitting beside the sink, staring after him. “Have a nice day, Ukai-san.”

Ukai nodded, “you too.”

Takeda let the door shut behind him and walked out of the research center. The sun was overly bright after the dim light of the research center, but Takeda blinked away the discomfort as he walked as quickly as he could towards the rescue center. For some reason his hands were shaking, and he stuffed them into the pockets of his pants. Of one thing Takeda was sure: he was running away. He just wished he knew what he was running from.

* * *

Tsukishima had never been called patient. It wasn’t that he was particularly impatient, he just tended to get things done quickly. Especially things he had control over, like schoolwork. Everyone had told Tsukishima that when he started college he wouldn’t be able to keep up the same types of grades he’d gotten during high school, but in three years he hadn’t had a problem. Until now. 

Maybe the issue was that the research was technically ungraded, so there wasn’t a single right answer or right strategy for engaging with the material. Whatever it was, Tsukishima was struggling academically for the first time. The actual experiments and number crunching wasn’t a problem, it was the thought behind it. Tsukishima could isolate algae colonies and run analytics and graph results until he was blue in the face, but he couldn’t make the connections he knew he was supposed to be making. This had been highlighted the previous Friday when Yamaguchi had pointed to two trend lines and enthusiastically asked Tsukishima if he also thought that this new data was exciting, and he hadn’t had anything to say back. Yamaguchi had been nice about it, but the grad student’s explanation and kind words hadn’t been enough to cool the burning shame Tsukishima had felt in that moment. 

He wasn’t failing the program, he just wasn’t contributing. Neither Takeda-Sensei nor Yamaguchi would ever say that, but Tsukishima knew it was true. He watched Daichi and Kiyoko talk about their work and ask questions, but when it was his turn to speak he could never find anything smart to say. And he always had something smart to say. So no, he wasn’t failing. But he didn’t belong in this program.

Tsukishima almost dreaded going to the lab at this point. Almost. But it was a complicated sort of almost-dread, because if he didn’t go to the lab he wouldn’t have a reason to see Yamaguchi, and seeing Yamaguchi was the best part of his week. He was pretty sure they were friends at this point. Well, he hoped they were friends. Yamaguchi was easy to be around, he was sweet, and funny, and laughed when Tsukishima made comments that fell somewhere between sarcastic and jackass. Also sometimes Yamaguchi smiled in a way that made Tsukishima forget how to breathe, but he didn’t see why that would impact whether or not they could be friends.

Earlier that day, for example, Yamaguchi had re-tied his hair into a ponytail while listing the necessary sample sizes for that day and Tsukishima had needed to wait for him to walk a few meters away in order to ask Kiyoko to repeat what they had been. Despite this unfortunate delay in information Tsukishima had been able to take samples in the proper volumes, so he figured it wasn’t really a problem. And sure, once they were back at the lab Tsukishima had needed to recount supplies twice because in the close quarters of the work bench Yamaguchi’s forearm kept accidentally brushing against his, but that only set him back a minute or two so, again, not an issue. No, the real issue here was that he wasn’t very good at being a research assistant. 

Because he wasn’t contributing a lot academically, and also maybe a little because he wanted to be around Yamaguchi for a few extra minutes, Tsukishima volunteered to stay later and clean their lab station. Yamaguchi was double checking all of the notes from that day, Takeda-Sensei had gone back to his office to do some grading, and Tsukishima was washing every piece of equipment much more slowly and carefully than he really needed to.

Tsukishima figured he could probably wait out the program until the end of the semester and then quit after. It was only another month, he could last that long. Plus maybe after another month he and Yamaguchi would be actual friends, the kind who saw each other outside of the lab. Then he would have a reason to see him next semester. He didn’t think Yamaguchi would be mad if he quit the research project, he knew Tsukishima wasn’t good at this. They all knew he wasn’t good at this. 

Tsukishima snuck a look at Yamaguchi, his head bent over his open laptop, a stray piece of hair falling forward over his forehead. Brown eyes met Tsukishima’s and he startled slightly. He’d been caught.

“Hey, can you take a look at this for a second?” Yamaguchi asked, indicating the stack of papers next to him.

Tsukishima nodded and put the soapy beaker in his hands down, wiping his hands dry on his jeans as he walked over. He peered over Yamaguchi’s shoulder at where he was pointing, and was met with a page of messy handwriting which he immediately recognized as Daichi’s.

“Do you know what this says?” Yamaguchi asked. He pointed to a specific line on the page, which Tsukishima squinted at.

“It says ‘growth rates consistent with colony B, not D or E,’ I think.”

Yamaguchi smiled widely. “Thanks! I can never read his writing.” He typed the line carefully into the document on his computer.

“Sure,” Tsukishima said. “Was that it?”

“Oh, yeah. Sorry to bother you about something so small.”

“No!” Tsukishima cleared his throat, “I mean, I wasn’t… I’m happy to be helpful, is all.”

Yamaguchi blinked at him a few times, his expression thoughtful. “You’re always helpful, Tsukishima.”

Oh, god. He’d said something weird, hadn’t he? Tsukishima attempted a smile.

“Washing dishes, a key part of scientific discovery.” He tried to make his tone light, but the wrinkle between Yamaguchi’s eyebrows deepened.

“It is an important part,” he insisted, “but you do a lot more than that. You know that, right?”

This wasn’t going the way Tsukishima had wanted. He backed up two steps. “Yeah, for sure.”

“Tsukishima…” Yamaguchi trailed off for a moment, “is something wrong?”

“Not at all,” Tsukishima backed away a few steps more. 

Yamaguchi stood up and closed his laptop slowly. “Do you think you’re not helpful?”

Damn it. He just had to make a snide little remark. Someone else wouldn’t have noticed what he really meant, but of course Yamaguchi did. Of fucking course.

“Uh, I don’t know,” Tsukishima avoided eye contact, “I mean I’m learning a lot.”

“You’re an important part of this team.” Yamaguchi was so earnest. On anyone else it would have been irritating, but on him…

“Right, thanks,” Tsukishima was looking at the floor.

“Did Daichi say something weird? Because sometimes he can be sort of blunt, but I’m sure he didn’t mean-”

“No one had to say anything,” Tsukishima blurted. His cheeks were hot. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Tsukishima risked a glance at the other man, he looked sad. Tsukishima had done that. Fuck. Well, might as well just say it.

“I just mean I’m not that good at this. I never have anything smart… uh, I mean,” Tsukishima looked down again. “I just don’t know if I should continue next semester is all.”

“You are good at this, it’s just your first time doing it. And you haven’t been studying biology for that long. It’s not like Kiyoko and Daichi were how they are now when they started, but they got better. You will too.” Yamaguchi was moving as he talked, and Tsukishima could hear his steps coming closer.

“Right. Well, like I said I’ll have to think about-”

“You know struggling at first isn’t a bad thing,” Yamaguchi interrupted. 

“You don’t struggle,” Tsukishima mumbled, “Daichi and Kiyoko don’t struggle.”

“They’ve been doing this for over a year!” Yamaguchi’s voice was rising. “And I’ve been doing this stuff for almost six. You can’t just compare-”

“It’s embarrassing, okay?” Tsukishima’s voice cut across the room, too loud in the still lab. “I have to work so much harder and I still feel a step behind. And on top of that I look fucking stupid!”

“So what!” Yamaguchi’s voice was loud, too, and there was an edge that made Tsukishima look up. “So what, Tsukishima? So people can tell you’re working hard, what’s wrong with that? It’s not a bad thing to try hard.”

Shame bubbled in Tsukishima’s stomach, and he tasted metal and acid. 

“God, Yamaguchi, what do you care?” The words bit ugly and serrated against his tongue. He heard Yamaguchi inhale sharply. Tsukishima was afraid to look up, but when he managed to, Yamaguchi didn’t look hurt, just angry.

“What do you mean, what do I care?” He was practically yelling, his eyes bright. Tsukishima couldn’t look away. “I thought we were fucking friends. Obviously I care if you leave or not.”

Oh. That. He knew it was the wrong moment, but happiness bloomed in Tsukishima’s chest and he had to remind himself not to smile. They were friends. They were friends and Yamaguchi cared if Tsukishima left or stayed. He could kiss him. Probably shouldn’t, though.

“We are friends.” Tsukishima’s mouth was very dry.

“Good,” Yamaguchi said. “Then do you trust me?”

Completely. Unquestioningly. “Yes.”

“Then stick with this program, okay? I promise you’re good at this. I can help you whenever you need it just… just don’t quit, okay?”

Yamaguchi probably could have asked Tsukishima to commit murder at that point and gotten an affirmative answer.

“Okay.”

“Good.” Yamaguchi looked down, his face inexplicably reddening. “I should go.”

“Okay,” Tsukishima repeated. His heart was beating very fast, and he wasn’t sure he could manage more than that one word.

Yamaguchi turned on his heel and walked out the door, pausing only briefly to grab his computer and the stack of notes beside it. Tsukishima watched as he walked out of the lab, staring at the empty doorway long after Yamaguchi’s figure had disappeared from it. Then, once he was sure the other man had gone, Tsukishima went back to washing the dirty beakers and petri dishes. 

As he let the soap and water run over the glass instruments in his hands he kept replaying the moment when Yamaguchi had yelled at him. He was usually so sunny and even-keeled, and tonight was the first time he’d shown any real emotion. Tsukishima gave an involuntary shiver. If he was being honest with himself, he wouldn’t mind seeing some more emotion from Yamaguchi Tadashi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Classes just started for me so chapters might not be as frequent, but I’ll try to update as much as possible! 
> 
> I play a little bit with the characterizations in this chapter (mostly just my interpretations of what emotions/insecurities each character is driven by), so hopefully they feel accurate and not totally out of left field! I love to chat about personal headcanons/character interpretations so if you want to talk more about any of the choices I made (or super disagree with them - that’s chill too) I’d love to chat! Also I'm trying to show Takeda's character growth but idk maybe it's too fast... like it's been a month within the actual story since we saw him really struggling with internalized homophobia but like in actual chapters he's only been in two since so like... idk idk let me know!
> 
> As always take care and thanks for reading :)))


	7. July 12th

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Slight TW and therefore potential spoiler below:
> 
> *  
> *  
> *
> 
> Just an fyi that there is an exploration of academic power dynamics within relationships in the second part of this chapter. There isn't actually any sort of power imbalance or manipulation portrayed, but if this is something which bothers you please be aware! Also check my end notes if you want to delve into this a little deeper - I'm always happy to chat/tag further!

On Friday Saeko told Ukai to leave early. 

_“We’re all set here for today,” she had said, “why don’t you head home.”_

_Ukai had checked the time. 4:24 p.m. “I don’t mind finishing up a few things.”_

_“Go home,” Saeko had insisted. “Go home, do something fun. Start your weekend early.”_

So, Ukai had left. He had never considered himself a workaholic, or an overachiever at his job, but now that he’d moved he didn’t really have anything else to do. Weekends were just long expanses of daylight where he wandered between the three rooms of his apartment and worked intermittently at projects in each. He had finished three glossy stools for his kitchen table the week before which were waiting for cushions to come in the mail, and he was halfway through staining a television hutch for his living room. 

The bookcase he’d made two weeks after moving in was in the bedroom, but the lumber prices had been too good to resist and he’d ended up with almost enough wood for another one. He didn’t have that many books, but he did have a used television from the previous tenant which could use a hutch. So, with a few more pieces of solid oak from the lumber yard across town, Ukai had built what he considered a decent looking piece of furniture and was staining it a muted burnt-orange. The first layer had come out patchy, so now he was faced with only a bit of stain left and a whole second coat to go. Well, getting wood stain was probably as exciting as his Friday night would get. Maybe he could buy some beer while he was out.

It wasn’t, actually, strictly true that he hadn’t had another option for that evening. On his way out Suga had invited him to go get drinks. It had surprised him, because even though he and Suga were perfectly friendly, Ukai didn’t get the sense that the younger man actually liked spending time with him. They were only separated by three years, but Ukai felt a lot older than Suga. Or at least distant from him. Nevertheless, he had been flattered by the invitation. Flattered and confused.

_“Are you asking me?” he’d responded to the offhand invitation. Suga had raised an eyebrow, judgement unspoken but apparent._

_“Yeah. Who else?”_

_“I dunno,” Ukai said dumbly._

_“So do you want to come? I’m going to get wine drunk with Sensei. Saeko will probably also come.”_

_That had truly surprised Ukai. “You and Takeda-san get drunk together?”_

_“He’ll have like one glass of wine,” Suga rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “But Saeko and I will get minorly trashed and complain about our love lives. Do you want to come too?”_

_Ukai was surprised to find that he did sort of want to go. Though he would likely embarrass himself, as he had a relatively low tolerance for wine. But… Suga had probably just invited him to be nice. He wouldn’t really know what to say at an event like that anyway. Everyone would probably have more fun if he stayed home._

_“Thanks for the invitation,” he’d said. “But I have some stuff to finish up in my apartment.”_

_“Oh, okay,” Suga shrugged one shoulder. “Well once you’re done with renovations you should come out with us something.”_

_“Yeah, sure thing.”_

_It had been nice of Suga to invite him. Really nice. And Ukai was sure Suga would have been pleased if he’d accepted but… but wasn’t this better? Wasn’t this really what everyone had wanted?_

Ukai arrived home just before 5:00 p.m. feeling a little out of sorts and not really sure why, which is when the half-stained hutch had greeted him in all its splotchy orange glory and inspired his evening plans. His other greeting had come from Sock the cat, who had made a beeline for him the moment he’d opened the door. Sock, probably named for his one white paw on an otherwise grey body, always greeted Ukai with a surprising amount of energy considering he slept for about 20 hours a day. He batted at Ukai’s feet as he took off his shoes, and wound between his legs as he walked to the kitchen. Only after a treat -- salmon-flavored -- did he settle into a corner of the couch and watch Ukai move around the apartment with his round, yellow eyes. 

Ukai changed out of his slightly-fishy clothes and wiped down his kitchen in preparation for cooking later before heading back out. When he realized Ukai was leaving again Sock let out a plaintive sound, and jumped off the couch to rub his soft head against Ukai’s shin. He dropped into a squat before the door to scratch the cat under the chin.

“I’ll be home soon,” he murmured. Sock bumped his damp nose against the back of Ukai’s fingers and gave him a dubious look. “Twenty minutes.” He slipped out the door, pushing it closed just as Sock meowed in complaint again.

The hardware store was in the middle of town, and even though it wasn’t quite 5:30 Ukai could already see the beginnings of nightlife. University students waited in lines outside of bars, and restaurants were crowded. Luckily, the hardware store was pretty empty and Ukai found the correct shade of wood stain within a few minutes. He grabbed a larger can to be safe, and then pursued the brush aisle looking for anything on sale. He found two detail brushes marked down significantly and got them as well. As an afterthought Ukai also threw a pack of picture hanging hooks, as his walls were a little bare and he could imagine at some point wanting to put up a picture or two. He paid and walked back out onto the crowded sidewalks, the sky still summer-bright.

There was a liquor store with a decent beer selection half a block away from the hardware store and Ukai made his way there. Once inside he squeezed by the crowds of university students clustered by the flavored liquor and light beer and surveyed the craft beer selection. There were a few he liked, but the illustrations on the cans in one corner drew his eye. It was a local brewery with just three types of beer. The illustrations were drenched in cool tones, with thin black lines shakily outlining an approximation of the beers’ names. ‘Jellyfish Juice’ seemed alright, but Ukai was drawn to a pale ale called ‘Nutty Professor,’ which featured a bespeckled professor with wild hair, painted in shades of green. He grabbed a six pack and waded back through the sea of 20-year-olds to wait in line. Despite the packed store the line moved quickly and Ukai soon found himself deposited back out onto the sidewalk. 

As he drove back home the sky became golden and the shadows of cars stretched across the road. The sun glowed from behind his apartment complex, and Ukai followed the shade of the tall building to his ground-floor unit. 

Socks was even pushier upon this arrival, though Ukai reasoned with himself there was no way for the cat to know he had actually been gone for closer to 40 minutes instead of the 20 he had promised. He put two extra salmon treats into Sock’s dinner bowl as an apology, which seemed to mollify him somewhat. Once Sock was happily crunching away at his dinner, Ukai cracked open a can of beer, spread out a tarp under the hutch, and began brushing stain onto the wood. He’d always found this sort of work relaxing, and tonight was no different. The rhythmic swish-swish of the brush, the vibrant color of the stain, and the changing light coming through his window allowed Ukai sink into the task. All that mattered was that the stain went on even, and Ukai let that loom largest in his mind, everything else was background noise.

Two beers and half a can of burnt-orange wood stain later Ukai surveyed his work. The light outside was nearly gone, the sky azure with the last vestiges of sun still glowing around its edges. Ukai wouldn’t know if the stain was right until the next morning, but he thought it looked pretty good. The places where the brushstrokes were uneven would be mostly covered by the television, and then the doors would slide closed and you wouldn’t be able to see the mistakes at all. He smiled at the still-wet hutch. It made the room feel less empty.

His hunger made itself known with a loud rumble from his stomach, and Ukai realized he had completely forgotten dinner. He cooked slowly, cutting the vegetables carefully as he let water boil. He added the vegetables and let them steam for a minute before mixing in instant soup mix and a splash of chili sauce. Then the noodles went in for another two minutes, then low heat, a whisked egg, and he covered the pot. The egg was cooked through a minute later, and he poured the soup into a big bowl and sat down to eat. It was sort of hot outside for soup, but Ukai liked how comforting the flavors were. He was halfway through the bowl, all of the noodles gone, when his phone rang. The name Takinoue Yusuke was lighting up the screen. Odd.

Ukai answered. “Hello?”

“Keishin!” Even over the phone his voice was bright and full of energy. “How ya doing man?”

“I’m alright,” Ukai said. “What’s up? How are you?”

“I’m great, I’m great,” Takinoue paused for a moment. “Hey I know I haven’t really kept in touch well since you moved, but I’m glad to hear you’re good.”

This was surprisingly mature for Takinoue, and Ukai straightened up before answering. “Don’t worry about it. I know things were stressful. Plus I moved so fast…” he trailed off. Ukai hadn’t thought about the way he had practically fled Kyoto after Takinoue’s business had failed. He hadn’t stayed around for any of the aftermath, instead had booked it to the middle of nowhere to work at an aquatic animal rescue of all things.

“Yeah,” Takinoue’s voice had lost some of its brightness. “Yeah it was like you disappeared.”

“I know,” Ukai said. The guilt that tended to fall to the background of Ukai’s mind reared its head. He felt sick. “Yusuke, listen, if anyone should be apologizing it should be me. You lost your business and I just left. I’m sorry. Really.”

“No, no,” Takinoue’s voice crackled through the phone urgently. “No you had quit your job to do this with me and I totally… I mean it all just fell apart. I would have taken your grandfather’s job offer too. No hard feelings, I promise.”

“Okay,” Ukai breathed. Something he didn’t even know had been there loosened in his chest. “Thanks man, I’m glad to hear that.”

“No worries,” the brightness was back in his voice. “Listen, as nice as this is, it’s not actually why I called. I’m starting up the business again. I have real backers this time, a few of them actually. I’ve got suppliers and a few big restaurant clients have already signed on. I want you to come manage the supply side. What d’ya say?”

Ukai sucked in a breath. This is what they had been waiting for before, when everything had gotten too expensive and they’d had to throw in the towel. But now… now things could actually work. Ukai could be part of something that actually worked. Back in Kyoto, back where his friends were. But… but why had his stomach dropped when Takinoue had asked him to join on again? Why wasn’t he jumping at this chance?

“Congratulations,” he finally choked out. “That’s great. I’m happy for you, and thank you so much for the second chance but…” But what? What was his hang-up here? “Can I think about it?”

Takinoue was silent for a moment before answering. “Of course you can,” he said. “Of course, yeah. Take all the time you need. We launch in September, so maybe have an answer before, like, mid-August. But yeah.”

“Okay thanks,” Ukai let out a breath. “I’ll let you know. But really, congratulations man. You deserve it.”

“Thanks. I’ll let you go. But, uh, let me know.” He sounded disappointed. Ukai understood, he would be disappointed too. 

They hung up, and Ukai stared at his phone for a long minute, his unfinished soup forgotten. His appetite was gone, so he poured the leftover broth and vegetables into an old takeout container and settled them in his refrigerator. Armed with another beer Ukai settled onto his couch and stared at the drying TV hutch. 

Why didn’t he jump at the chance to go back to his old life. It was good. He had friends, a whole city at his fingertips, and now a job to return to. This little college town was nice, sure, but for how long? Hadn’t he just come here to basically lie low and save money until something more permanent had come along? And here was something more permanent, practically offering itself to him on a silver platter. Sock the cat could move with him, right? Ukai glanced sideways to the mound of fur on the couch beside him and was calmed by the rhythmic rise and fall of Sock’s side. 

His mind turned back to the job offer. Wouldn’t living in Kyoto again be better, anyway? No more college-town attractions, no more small-town sensibilities. Not that it really mattered, but dating had been easier in Kyoto. No of his friends in the city cared that he was gay, and instead of biting his tongue when his grandfather asked him when he was going to ‘settle down with a nice girl’ he could just hang up the phone. It wasn’t as if anyone he had previously dated particularly captured the imagination, or he thought some storybook romance was waiting for him in Kyoto, but things certainly had been simpler.

On the other hand, things had a certain simplicity here, too. In one direction was the town, the other the ocean. At work the animals had specific needs. He knew what needed to happen, and when. The questions and answers were straightforward. And, above all, the work felt good. The anxiety over profit margins and whether they could wait out a client’s next payment or if he would ever be able to move forward didn’t haunt him here like they did before. Most days the evening came too quickly, and he was left knowing exactly what he accomplished and excited to do it all again the next day. And the people… 

Ukai took another sip of his beer and stared down at the can, light from his lamp shining off of the colorful metal. The people here were good. They felt familiar in a way no one he’d only known for two months had any right to. Would he forget them just as quickly? Did he want to? Ukai thought of Saeko’s wry humor and commanding voice. Of Suga’s easy laugh and the way he included others like it was instinct. He thought of Takeda’s quick smile and how he’d said Ukai was good at his job. How he helped others before he ever thought of asking for anything himself. How sometimes his face went pinched and sad and Ukai didn’t know why. 

Ukai felt his face heat at the memory of how he’d acted when Takeda had offered to help clean the scrape given to him by the dolphin. He hadn’t really needed the help, but the chance to see Takeda’s worried face up close had been too good to pass up. But then he’d gone and… and what? What had he even thought was going to happen? The back of his neck had burned with embarrassment for the rest of the day and then the one after, but when Takeda had come on Thursday he hadn’t acted like anything was wrong. He had just been his usual self. Ukai wasn’t really sure what Takeda was to him, but he was certainly something. Something special. Had anything in Kyoto felt truly special?

In that moment, sitting in his tiny apartment, everything at Karasuno seemed precious to him. The animals especially. He thought of the turtle, of how she looked so much stronger now than she had in May. How she finished all her food without hesitation, and then searched her pool for more. He needed to know that she was okay. That she made it out to the ocean to go be wild again. The way the dolphins had swam when they had no more walls to constrict them - he wanted that for her. 

But the job in Kyoto was a good one. It was a job he knew he could do well, in a place where he knew he fit. 

Ukai figured he had until August to decide. By then the turtle would be better. If he could just see her go free, he’d be able to choose for himself. He was sure of it. 

******

Friday nights Yamaguchi stayed late to do Takeda-Sensei’s grading. The building was empty at that time, and the professor’s office was comfortable and easy to spread out in. Takeda himself was out with Suga and Saeko, and while Yamaguchi had received an invitation to go as well he had decided to stay in and do work instead. He liked working on Friday nights, when the hours stretched quiet and purple-soft before him. 

A little before 9:00 p.m. he locked Takeda-Sensei’s door behind him and walked towards the exit, only to be stopped by the faint light coming from under the door to lab two. One of the underclassmen must have left it on when they left for the day. He sighed and pushed it open, only to be met with a familiar blond head bowed over a microscope, face illuminated by the laptop open beside him.

“Sorry,” Tsukishima said without looking up, “this lab is being used. Three is free I think.”

“What are you still doing here?” Yamaguchi let the door swing shut behind him and Tsukishima looked up. The moment the door latched Yamaguchi knew he shouldn’t be there. His angry words from early that week still hung between them, heavy and cloying.

“Yamaguchi,” Tsukishimas’s eyes skittered to the side. “I was just running the beta reactions again. My data, uh, well I thought it could be better. I’ll clean up and lock everything before I leave.”

“You don’t have to stay late to run extra reactions.” Yamaguchi could feel his shoulders curling in on themselves. He should apologize. He needed to apologize.

“I know, I just feel like I’m not as comfortable yet… I mean-” Tsukishima fiddled with the focus on the microscope before he realized what he was doing and tucked his hands into his pockets. “I just prefer using the labs when they’re empty.”

_He’s trying to listen to what I told him_ , Yamaguchi realized with a pang. _He’s going to stay_. 

“Sure, I understand,” he offered a smile. “But you should probably head home soon. Do you know what time it is?”

Tsukishima squinted at his laptop screen for a moment before swearing. “Shit. I didn’t, actually. I’ll pack up.”

“Is something wrong?” He should apologize and leave.

“The last train left like twenty minutes ago. It’s fine I’ll just call an Uber or something.”

Yamaguchi chewed on his bottom lip for a second. He was having a bad idea. “Where do you live?” A very bad idea.

“Uh,” Tsukishima paused, his laptop shoved halfway into his bag, “a little less than a mile away.”

“I can give you a ride, don’t waste your money.” A horrible idea. The worst idea Yamaguchi had ever had.

“Really?” Tsukishima’s face lit with what could almost pass as a smile. “Thanks. I’m just going to clean up, I’ll be ready in less than ten.” 

“I’m going to make sure everything else is locked up. Meet me by the front doors whenever you’re ready.” 

As he triple-checked the locks on the other labs and did a quick sweep of the supply closet Yamaguchi reasoned with himself. What he was doing was just a favor. It was a good thing, even. Driving someone home was a perfectly reasonable thing to do when they had missed the last train. They were friends. Sort of. Or at least, he had thought they were friends. Maybe hoped was the right word. Sure, Yamaguchi saw Tsukishima three times a week, but only because they were both there to do research. And yeah, they tended to work next to one another when the option presented itself, and even when they weren’t talking it felt easy and natural to be in the same space. Maybe Tsukishima did laugh at all of his jokes, even the dry ones no else ever seemed to understand. And he laughed at Tsukishima’s jokes, even the ones which were almost mean but said with just the right timing and that wry smile which made Yamaguchi hide a snicker behind his hand. But did that make them friends?

It’s not like they hung out at other times. Well, Yamaguchi supposed tonight would be the first. At least it gave him a chance to apologize. A chance to make things right. And whether or not Yamaguchi had been motivated by anything further than the impulse to be helpful was between him and his 2012 Toyota Camry. 

One last look at the supply closet and he hit the light, letting the door lock with a click.

“Are you ready?” Tsukishima’s voice came from behind Yamaguchi, making him practically jump into the air.

“Good god, Tsukishima. Warn a guy.”

“Sorry.” He looked genuinely contrite.

“That’s okay.” God this was a horrible idea, Tsukishima was so much better-looking up close. “I’m ready, let’s go.”

Since the sun had set, the inside of the car was cool, though the seats were still warm to the touch. Yamaguchi pulled out of the employee parking lot and turned right towards the main road.

“I thought only faculty and staff could park in that lot.”

“Well I haven’t been towed yet. Left?” Yamaguchi asked.

“Hm, oh yeah. Left is good.”

Yamaguchi signalled and turned, pulling onto the mostly empty main road. He glanced at Tsukishima out of the corner of his eye. He had taken his glasses off, and was rubbing the small red indents on the sides of his nose. He looked a little younger without the glasses on, which made something go warm in Yamaguchi’s chest. He found this feeling unpleasant and brought his eyes fully back to the road.

They drove in silence for a few minutes, the car moving smoothly through pools of light cast by the streetlamps. 

Tsukishima was finally the one to break the silence. “Up here you can take a right and then another left..”

“Got it.” Yamaguchi turned, then turned again. He risked another glance at Tsukishima, who was studying his hands in his lap. Well, here went nothing. “I wanted to apologize to you.” He felt more than saw Tsukishima turn towards him.

“What? Why?”

“I shouldn’t have yelled at you like I did. You should obviously make your own choices, I just…” Just what? Yamaguchi thought desperately to himself. He really should have planned this out. “I just wanted you to stay.”

“You want me to stay?”

Fuck. Now he’d gone and said it. “For the program. I think you’re good for the program and you could really learn a lot here.” 

“Oh,” Tsukishima said. 

Yamaguchi could have put his head through the steering wheel. He wanted to scream to Tsukishima to forget the program, to stay because he felt hollow right at the bottom of his ribs every time he thought about walking into that office and not finding the other man with his computer balanced on his knees, halfheartedly trading barbs with Daichi. He wanted to tell Tsukishima he could do anything he wanted as long as he let Yamaguchi drive him home at night, warm and shining and beautiful in the passenger seat.

“I just mean it was selfish. Of me. You should only stay if you want to stay.” 

“I want to stay.”

“You do?” Yamaguchi turned to look at Tsukishima, only to find him already looking back. He felt his cheeks heat and turned his gaze back to the road.

“I like it here,” Tsukishima said. “In the program.”

“Is that why you stayed late today?” Yamaguchi asked. He could tell that Tsukishima was still looking at him, and that awareness made his hands tighten on the steering wheel.

“Yeah. I mean that and saving on train fare.”

Yamaguchi laughed. “Seems like quite the sacrifice.”

“I think it was worth it,” Tsukishima said. “You know, for the program.”

“Right,” Yamaguchi breathed. It felt coded, their conversation, but for the life of him Yamaguchi couldn’t figure out the key. “You should, you know, take care of yourself though.”

“Noted. You can go right up here.”

Yamaguchi nodded and clicked his turn signal on, coming to a stop as the light changed. The dashboard was bathed in red light, and it made the air inside the car feel frozen and expectant. Yamaguchi took a deep breath and turned towards Tsukishima, even though he already knew what he would find. His gaze found Tsukishima’s and was held there. The light made the dark circles under Tsukishima’s eyes look purple, and the shadows from his lashes lengthened and spread across his cheekbones. 

They looked at one another, bathed in the red of the traffic light, for a long moment. Yamaguchi felt as though his breath was being pulled out of him, like the car was a vacuum and the carbon dioxide and nitrogen and water molecules and every thought he’d ever had about the man in the passenger seat was being tugged forcibly from his lungs and now swirled around the two of them in the cab of his old, beat-up Toyota. 

The light switched to blue and Yamaguchi faced forward, pressed the accelerator, and turned right. His breath came easier. “Which way now?”

Tsukishima’s voice was softer than it had been. “At Camellia street you can go left and then it’s just two and a half blocks.”

“Alright.”

Camelia Street was upon them quickly, and the last two and half blocks sped by with no traffic lights to slow their momentum. Yamaguchi pulled up to a row of converted houses which, from the looks of the outside, were mostly rented by college students. Bikes were locked to the front porches of each house, and beer cans spilled from every recycling can, which were flanked by flattened boxes of every size. Yamaguchi smiled, remembering his own days as an undergraduate in off-campus housing.

“Do you have roommates?” he asked.

“Yeah, just one. She’s pretty quiet though.”

“Hm,” Yamaguchi nodded, eyes on the logo in the center of his steering wheel. “I miss having roommates.”

Tsukishima snorted, but not unkindly. “I can’t wait to live alone.”

“It certainly has its upsides...” Yamaguchi trailed off, his mind on Tsukishima’s eyes under that red like. He spoke again, “Listen, Tsukishima.”

“Hm?” Tsukishima turned to Yamaguchi, who didn’t turn back. “What is it?”

“You really don’t have to stay in the program if you don’t want to. If you don’t like the research, or it just doesn’t feel right to you, Sensei can recommend you to another program.”

“You think I should leave?”

“No!” Yamaguchi winced at the volume of his outburst, but still turned to face Tsukishima. “No, I think you’re doing good work here. But if you’re staying out of some sense of duty, and not because you actually think it’s helping you as a biology student, then you shouldn’t feel obligated to stay.”

“Well I’m not particularly interested in algae,” Tsukishima admitted.

Yamaguchi’s heart sank. “Oh-”

“But I’m not staying because I feel obligated,” Tsukishima rushed on. “I mean if I want to work in a lab this one is as good as any other.”

“I don’t understand,” Yamaguchi said. “Why stay if you’re not interested?”

Tsukishima smiled and unbuckled his seatbelt. “I like the work. Thanks for the ride, Yamaguchi.”

“But the work could be on something that interests you. Tsukishima,” Yamaguchi grabbed the other man’s wrist to stop him from opening the car door. This was his fault, wasn’t it? He’d guilted Tsukishima and now he felt like he had to stay. “If you don’t like the project why stay? You could do something you enjoy.”

Tsukishima gave Yamaguchi a searching look. Inexplicably, the corners of his mouth tugged up into a smile. “I enjoy being on the project.”

He was very close, and Yamaguchi could see his own shadowy reflection in Tsukishima’s glasses. Yamaguchi hadn’t turned on the overhead light, so the indicator lights of the dashboard were all that illuminated them, and Tsukishima glowed pale in the darkness of the car’s interior. The bone in his thin wrist was prominent, and Yamaguchi could feel it and the soft hair on Tsukishima’s forearm against his clasped fingers. They had worked in close quarters before, but it hadn’t been like this, all shadows and pupils big from the nighttime. Or maybe it had been like this, or closer to this than Yamaguchi wanted to admit, and that’s what made him tighten his grip on Tsukishima’s arm instead of letting go.

“I don’t understand,” Yamaguchi said again. 

Tsukishima regarded Yamaguchi across the center console. There was something raw about his expression, something insecure that Yamaguchi hadn’t seen since the day they met. Like he was afraid of what the other man might say. He opened his mouth, then closed it. He brought the hand Yamaguchi hadn’t secured up slightly, and it floated in the space between them for a second. Then, slowly enough to be stopped, Tsukishima cupped the back of Yamaguchi’s head and brought their faces together to kiss him gently.

“I said I enjoy being on the project,” he breathed the words against Yamaguchi’s parted lips. 

Tsukishima pulled back, most likely to exit the car and brave the short walk to his apartment, but Yamaguchi would never know. He followed Tsukishima back over the center console, releasing his wrist only to grab the front of his shirt and crash their mouths back together. Tsukishima made a sound in the back of his throat, lips parting against Yamaguchi’s. He wasted no time in spilling his tongue against Tsukishima’s, too fast and too hungry for any sort of technique, but neither of them really minded. Tsukishima gave as good as he got, and brought his recently-liberated hand to join the other one at the nape of Yamaguchi’s neck, long fingers curling in the soft hair which had fallen from his loose ponytail.

For a moment Yamaguchi could think of nothing but being closer to Tsukishima, of tasting his lips and his tongue and breathing him in. But after long seconds of pressing back against the slick insistence of Tsukishima’s lips and tongue Yamaguchi rediscovered his own desires, only to find all he wanted was more. And harder. Yamaguchi bit Tsukishima’s lower lip, tugging slightly, before dragging his tongue slowly against the edge of the other man’s teeth. There was that sound again, the choked whine that came from the back of Tsukishima’s throat. Equal parts impatient and overwhelmed. Yamaguchi smiled against his mouth, kissing first the top lip, then the bottom one. 

A hand slid into Tsukishima’s hair, and Yamaguchi tugged his head back, exposing the pale expanse of his throat. Tongue hot against the pulse point he found there, Yamaguchi kissed wet and slow up the side of Tsukishima’s neck. He met his own gaze in the dark rearview mirror, and found his eyes dark and hungry. He froze, lips half a centimeter from the soft skin beneath Tsukishima’s ear. He barely recognized himself, pupils blown dark and gaze greedy. 

“Yamaguchi?” Tsukishima’s voice was ragged, and his fingers tightened at the back of Yamaguchi’s head. 

Without hesitation Yamaguchi tore his eyes away from the reflection and looked back at Tsukishima. Pink marks shone faintly up one side of his throat, and his eyes were half-lidded, lips swollen and slick. As an answer to his questioning tone Yamaguchi kissed Tsukishima again, harder this time. He pushed back, glasses pressed against his own temple, tongue insistent against Yamaguchi’s. They breathed one another in, trading two months worth of want with seeking hands and open, insatiable mouths over the center console. Yamaguchi laid one hand against the side of Tsukishima’s neck, thumb running firm against the column of his throat. 

Tsukishima shuddered and pressed closer, broad shoulders curving in to bring himself closer to Yamaguchi, still partially restrained by the seatbelt across his chest. Yamaguchi was almost grateful for the restraint of the seatbelt, because he was losing control by the second. Already he leaned as far towards Tsukishima as possible, and his insistent hands pulled him closer still. He was soft under Yamaguchi’s direction, softer than expected. Breaths shook in through his nose, and hands still wound in the soft hair at the nape of Yamaguchi’s neck. He pulled back, eyes glazed even through the lenses of his glasses, breath coming hard and fast. 

“I-” Tsukishima’s were half-formed as he tried to slow his breathing, “you, uh, I wasn’t-” 

Yamaguchi couldn’t speak at all. He panted into the space between them, shaking and hard in the driver's seat of his car, seat belt cutting into his shoulder. All he could do was stare as Tsukishima tried and failed to form words, wondering how he’d gotten so lucky as to have the most attractive man he’d ever met like this in the front seat of his car.

In a sobering moment of clarity Yamaguchi realized he had himself to thank. He had fought for a third year to join the team, he had befriended Tsukishima, he had offered him a ride home. Here was an undergraduate student who was feeling insecure in his work, whom Yamaguchi was supposed to offer support to, and instead he’d done this? Completely taken advantage of a situation he was the architect of? Yamaguchi felt sick, and it must have shown on his face because Tsukishima pulled back further, the glazed look disappearing from his eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Worry knit itself between Tsukishima’s eyebrows.

Yamaguchi pulled back completely, hands dropping to his own lap, and Tsukishima followed suit. 

“I’m sorry,” he choked out. 

Tsukishima breathed in sharply. “What did I do wrong?”

“Nothing!” Yamaguchi could have sworn someone was reaching into his chest and squeezing his heart. How could he have done this? “You didn’t do anything wrong. It’s me - I’m so sorry I shouldn’t have-”

Now it was Tsukishima’s time to say it: “I don’t understand.”

“I was the reason Sensei picked a third-year this semester.” The hand around Yamaguchi’s heart squeezed tighter. “I thought your application was the most impressive, so I convinced him to bend the rules.”

Tsukishima just looked more confused. “Thank… you? Why does that-”

“Don’t you get it?” Yamaguchi barrelled ahead, certain if he didn’t keep talking he would start crying. God he was really a terrible person. “I orchestrated this entire situation. I got you into the program, and then I got close to you, and here I am taking advantage of a situation I created! I did this!”

“But it’s not like you knew me when you told Sensei to accept my application,” Tsukishima argued.

“But-” Yamaguchi paused. Tsukishima was right, he hadn’t known him at that point. Still, guilt swirled in Yamaguchi’s stomach. He shouldn’t have taken advantage. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be here. I can’t do this.”

Tsukishima’s eyes narrowed in anger, but his lips trembled. “Fine,” he spat, “thanks for the ride.” He pushed open the door and climbed out, muttering something that sounded a lot like ‘dumbest fucking excuse I’ve ever heard’ before he shut the door behind him. 

Yamaguchi reached out one hand to stop him, then paused. It was unfair to stop him now. No matter how much he might have wanted Tsukishima to stay, might have wanted to kiss him in the front seat of his car, and on the couch in his apartment, spread over the blue sheets of his queen-sized bed, he couldn’t. That wasn’t something he could want. He watched Tsukishima walk up to his apartment, his shoulders tucked in and movements stiff, and felt something go cold and heavy in his stomach. Once he was inside, Yamaguchi turned back, and was grateful to find the street empty of any witnesses. Not that he deserved this moment of good fortune, but Tsukishima certainly did. 

Yamaguchi bent forward and banged his forehead against his steering wheel once. Twice.

“Fuck.”

He turned the key in the ignition and pulled away from the curb, accelerating into the night. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The rating might change a little bit by the end... we'll see. So far I feel okay keeping in T, but if anyone thinks an M is warranted I can absolutely change it. 
> 
> Sorry this chapter took so long to come out, classes have taken a bit to get used to but now that I have I'm really enjoying my studies! Also I feel like this chapter is angsty in like... two very different ways. That wasn't really my intention but oh well - so it goes sometimes. The next chapter will not be like this, and hopefully I'll be able to post it quickly as it's pretty planned out!
> 
> Also while dating/being involved with someone who is in a TA-like position over you (or under you and you're the TA idk) is super questionable and can create an unhealthy power imbalance, that's not actually the situation here. Yamaguchi is not the TA for the undergraduate research assistants, and the only grading he does is for Takeda's first and second year classes! In my opinion he didn't do anything wrong - he's just overthinking things. HOWEVER - if there is a part of this dynamic which is upsetting or triggering to you or you think I handled in poor taste please let me know! I'm happy to talk about it and/or add more specific warnings to the tags.
> 
> As always, thanks for reading and take care!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I love to chat in the comments if that’s something that interests you. Also, I know very little about biology so if YOU know about marine biology (or biology lab practices in general) and have a correction/are willing to help me out a little I would love to hear from you! Thanks so much for reading - it truly means the world to me <3


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